Because everything's in ruins

The Turin Horse

"Because everything's in ruins. Everything's been degraded, but I could say that they've ruined and degraded everything. Because this is not some kind of cataclysm, coming about with so-called, innocent human aide. On the contrary... It's about man's own judgement, his own judgement over his own self, which of course God has a hand in, or dare I say: takes part in. And whatever he takes part in is the most ghastly creation that you can imagine. Because, you see, the world has been debased. So it doesn't matter what I say because everything has been debased that they've acquired, and since they've acquired everything in a sneaky, underhand fight, they've debased everything. Because whatever they touch - and they touch everything - they've debased. This is the way it was until the final victory. Until the triumphant end. Acquire, debase. Debase, acquire. Or I can put it differently if you like: to touch, debase and thereby acquire, or touch, acquire and thereby debase. It's been going on like this for centuries. On, on and on. This and only this, sometimes gently, sometimes brutally, but it has been going on and on. Yet only in one way, like a rat attacks an ambush. Because for this perfect victory it was also essential that the other side... That is, everything that's excellent, great in some way and noble should not engage in any kind of fight. There shouldn't be any kind of struggle, just the sudden disappearance of one side, meaning the disappearance of the excellent, the great, the noble. So that by now these winning winners who attack from the ambush rule the earth, and there isn't a single tiny nook where one can hide something from them, because everything they can lay their hands on is theirs. Even things we think they can't reach - but they do reach - are also theirs. Because the sky is already theirs and all our dreams. Theirs is the moment, nature, infinite silence. Even immorality is theirs, you understand? Everything, everything is lost forever! And those many noble, great and excellent just stood there, if I can put it that way. They stopped at this point, and had to understand, and had to accept that there is neither god nor gods. And the excellent, the great and the noble had to understand and accept this right from the beginning. But of course they were quite incapable of understanding it. They believed it and accepted it but they didn't understand it. They just stood there, bewildered but not resigned, until something - that spark from the brain - finally enlightened them. And all at once they realized that there is neither god nor gods. All at once they saw that there is neither good nor bad. Then they saw and understood that if this was so, then they themselves do not exist either! You see, I reckon this may have been the moment when we can say that they were extinguished, they burnt out. Extinguished and burnt out like the fire left to smolder in the meadow. One was the constant loser, the other was the constant winner. Defeat, victory, defeat, victory and one day - here in the neighborhood - I had to realize and I did realize, that I was mistaken, I was truly mistaken when I thought that there has never been and could never be any kind of change here on earth. Because, believe me, I know now that this change has indeed taken place."

My Flash Delirium

MGMT live @ Kowloonbay International Trade & Exhibition Centre, Hong Kong 30.03.2011


Flash Delirium as the opener, how apt it was!!! I must admit that I'm still deliriously happy even it's nearly 1 week after. Since some time last year, I fell under the charm of this band so you may understand how I began my delirium when I heard that they would have a gig in my little hometown. And then, boom! Euphoria always flashed past unnoticed. Those ecstasy-filled songs such as Time To Pretend and Kids never failed to hypnotize the whole crowd into a state of bewitched rapture, we were all intoxicated by the beats and sound and oxymoronic to the lyrics, we did not have control anymore. But what i like most for the night was that they played nearly the whole Congratulations except the nightmarish Lady Dada. "When it's over, to breathe in everything exposed" what did it bring? A sweet trip. An escape. A lost. But did we find again? The last two songs were pretty autobiographical, The Handshake and Congratulations (and, I never thought The Handshake could be so psychedelic!). I was a bit lost. My trip ended, the show ended. The last two songs told me (and the band) what the reality was like. They seem to play well in this game of balancing reality and idealism (while i never know how to play this game) and I hope they will continue to manage well in this game (cos' they're called MGMT).



The visuals on the backdrop were so much like the visuals after consuming substance (hey, i was told about it)


my fellow sagittarian hid behind the amp


ok, i tried hard to control my idiotic fangirl gene

how my favourite person P thought about my favourite person R and his fandom

"Camus, Saw, Conquered

About your Manics article (NME, April 19). Mr Wells knows the Manics are middlebrow and they probably always have been. Kafka, Camus and Proust might sit snugly on shelves in assorted adolescent bedrooms around England, but if their owners were led to them by the inside of a CD cover, the true motivation stretches as far as the need to drop an esoteric title into a conversation in the common room.
The Marxists, Situationists, pseudo-bisexual-BAD POETS avec eyeliner, pseudo-leopardskin BAD POETS sans eyeliner, and the rest of the Cult Of Nothing should accept, for the last time, that with Richey went all feeble hopes of purity and guitars and profound graffiti.
Don't hold it against the lads - they want to do it. They are comfy. And they know that there is more chance of social equality through conformity that through locking yourself in a hotel bathroom and shitting in your purse. Besides which, the middlebrow ethos is far more revolutionary than the self-conscious political seriousness school of thought.
Peter Doherty, Somewhere Rather Lonely, 10 May 1997
P.S. That's the final word on the Manics. Forever. So all fanzines must stop. Let it be known."




I quoted that, it doesn't mean I agree to everything from my favourite person P. Yes, I finally found a disagreement with P. I put it down just as a record.

Poem generator

Charming nights
emptiness
useless summer
Lovers escape
using only thoughts
facing dreams
pains
Their very beauty made your words
sadness between idleness tenderness
Been lost
waiting
Finding
She kept Her Bits Old soul
named london
Still loving
All these feeling
(started manic laugh)
libertines, Those Always




Do I make sense here? Doesn't matter if it's yes or no cos' it's really good fun and inspiring. These are the broken phrases from my blog jammed out from the html5 word cloud.

alice no.2

Haven't picked up a carving knife for a long time, seems that my hands need to hibernate in winter. It's spring time now! It's time to practise again.




This is my alice no.2. She looks more normal than her ancestor, but got a big belly, haha, maybe she bears some features of her maker.

God bless

Shocked by the quake in Japan. It's like everything can be collapsed and destroyed just in a second. Every step could be indeed our last.

Oh no, you say you need a friend
but we can't live again
Monday morning comes too fast
You stumble down the diamond path
and every step could be your last
the sunken eyes you just can't see
remind me how you'll never leave
every breath could be your last.

wise up and take care, the one who's so clever, but not very wise

hope he hasn't got any trouble again, on the eve of his birthday.

It's always the song that I want to dedicate to the birthday boy.







(sorry for the awful fangirl fantasy, but some part of the lyrics does aptly describe my thought.)

find a place to hide

Boss out of office means all work is shifted to me. I'm damn busy right now, too busy that I want to click to my old blog and procrastinate a bit. No matter if i drown myself to work the whole office hours or even work overtime, I still can't finish the work, it's like a series of tsunami, so overwhelming and non-stop, nowhere to hide. I have to press the pause button, be lazy and unproductive (actually no matter i'm busy or not, i always pause this button).

To sum up my mood:





Homer is always one of my most favourite cartoon characters, yes, I always have a strange fondness for the misfits.



The Simpsons way of life

nice dream if the sky was darker, the crowd quiet(er)

Sleepwalking in the electric labyrinth
someone said the sea will ...
no, neither the sea nor the trees will electrocute us all
only our mind will.



Power Plant @ Kowloon Walled City Park


P.S. Oh it's been ages that I haven't set my foot in Kowloon City since I left my secondary school. It looks a bit old now, I couldn't find the records shop that I used to buy back load of good vinyls (wasted money, bought vinyls without a proper record player) and also the sanrio shop, but glad to see that Muslim Beef Bun shop (yummy) still survives, maybe it will go on forever.

Anglophile

You leave a taste
A bitter one
I have searched for your springs
But people, they stagnate with time
Like water, like air
To you
I cling.



- extracted from England - Polly Jean Harvey

Lost Time / The Sound of the Streets

My mp3 player just popped out The Sound of the Streets when I was reading the last page of In Search of Lost Time. How coincident. No, of course this song cannot summarise the whole epic, but I really thought of this song in some paragraphs, such as when the narrator lay in his bed and listened to the street noise outside his window.

"Inside she feels like winter
For the child that died within her
She walks the streets to pass the time

Sadie, Sadie hear the sound of the streets
Insane as anything"

"For the child that died within her" I don't think Brett meant it literally, not that Sadie had a miscarriage or abortion. I think he meant the lost time as a child that she couldn't find it again. Strange juxtaposition for this song and the last page of Time Regained.

Sometimes we can find the lost time again, if we drown deep enough in our sea of memory, but sometimes we just can't. The time had lost, the persons, the things, the passions had died. And remember the words from our dear Mr. Barat? Something like for a failed relationship, a part of yourself was died because all the things you had said, all the secret between the two lovers was lost forever. Actually I was quite surprised that he could utter something so Proust.

It took me quite some time to finish the whole series, I even doubted that if I could finish it before the end of my life, and thought if it would be too time-consuming if I had to re-read it again in my next life (if I could have one). These were my idle thoughts of course and now, even though I eventually finished it, I really want to re-read it again immediately. There were moments that I felt so heavy or intense that I had to close the book (excuse for the slowness?). I remember Proust once said that he did not expect praise or censure for his book, he just wanted his readers to feel "oh this is really like it" (ok, it's my interpretation), and I think he succeeded. I was always amazed by his clairvoyance.

Of course my life is not as epical as Proust's (or that of the narrator). During my time from reading Vol.1 to Vol.6, I had my joy and sufferings, I lost someone dear to me (but I did not know until I lost him). I will try to "recherché" those joyous moments, bury and banish the sufferings. I may find the lost person again in my memory, but may lose him again by my indifference and forgetfulness (and we say time is a healer).

useless but not hysteria

For an autistic person like me, every social interaction always results in awkwardness. A few days ago I just carelessly showed my "staff card holder" to my colleague while accessing the office, my colleague spontaneously threw me the questions of "What (the hell is that useless thing?)" and "Why (did you waste time to make it?)" and gave me a "wtf" facial expression. I could only smile embarrassingly and explained in a rather apologetic tone (without knowing why) that although it's cheap and also of a better quality to buy a proper "staff card holder" in the market, I was such an idle person and liked to make useless things, and also there's a hidden reason (cos' to spell it out would make me even more freakish) that I really like the patterns on the reverse side of envelops.


Is it really so strange? Of course it looks very plain, I could have decorated it more but I made it in a haste at night so I just folded the paper up, in fact I like it plain.


I also like to use the reversed envelop to be a book protector, given that I always read book at the pace of a turtle, my book will end in much wear and tear when I finish it.


Actually paper "staff card holder" may not be a good idea, with no lanyard and always wetted by splashing water, so i made a more proper one by adhersive tape and then pretend to be employed by hmv (oh my teenage dream).

Bits and bobs for complaining

It's so cold for these couple of weeks that I only wanted to sleep or dream, inertia no matter in office or at home, and worse still, I seem to still under the influence of flu, suffer from occasional chest pain and headache, why did my 2011 begin in such way?!

Have taken too many western and Chinese medicine, my eye bags and panda-eyes are so huge now.

Money slipped away for no reason at all, I can't remember what I've spent but my accounts figures keep going down. Shit, all my banal and trivial troubles, money, boring life, even my complaining is so uncool, I wish I could be more intelligent.

I have to stop complaining, too many people have warned me that negative thinking would only bring bad luck. I have to control my thought (so there is even no freedom of thinking), I need good luck.

Strange rumour I read in facebook:
Dec 2012

Maybe we should from now on just play, play, play (but first I must get my migraine to stop).

A year has passed without a trace without a sound

This is a peaceful year for me. No alarms, no surprises, I am actually glad about it. I hope my life will pass like this. I never feel bored about peace and quietness, maybe I'm just a boring person.

Music is still my important companion, provides me an exit from banality, even some moments of edification.

to continue my previous post, my favourite album of 2010:

1. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

2. Sambassadeur - European
Sunshine, sea breeze, idleness, indolence, sea birds swirling in the sky, cruise to the Mediterranean, gondola in Venice, a feast in the southern Italy, loafing around in Greece, haha, that adoring laziness, those sunny places i've never been, that's what i thought of when i listened to this album. A true summer album,but I still listen to it in winter days, and I will definitely continue to listen to it when i long for a summer holidays in my head. I always like Swedish pop. Strange, the female vocal Anna Parsson does not have a heavenly goddess' voice, or you may even call it plain, but it just perfectly fits the music.

3. Carl Barat - Carl Barat
I always enjoy his song craftsmanship. I think I'm one of the few who believe that he is actually talented. I hoped so much that I would like this album. That is the reason why I was silent about it when it was released because if I could not click a "Like" to it, i would rather remain silent. But i was capricious, as i now write about it, yes, i now really adore it (or did i hypnotise myself enough to have a change of heart? haha)

His style in this sole album was described as that of marc almond, serge gainberg and leonard cohen. We made various association that is not very fair to him (though I admit I also think of those names when I listened to it). I never skip a track of it. Maybe I love his new music style or, maybe I just love to hear his confession of failed relationship. Besides his music talent, I'm sure he is also good at breaking hearts. It's difficult not to associate his songs to some of his ex-lovers. I remember he once said in an interview "somebody dies, not only do you lose them, but you lose a part of yourself, things that only they know about you". I think carl must have died a bit in all his failed relationships. But whatever great passions and relationships are, they do not crumble and die all of a sudden, they just turn cold, fade into the realm of forgetfulness and indifference, however much we do not want to accept it. So, for a record (pun?) of relationships that he (and I) cares/cared about, I will rank it to my top 3.

4. Foals - Total Life Forever

5. Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest

6. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Before Today

7. Johnny Flynn - Been Listening

8. Philip Selway - Familial

9. LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening

10. The National - High Violet

Some other albums I also like include Jonsi - Go, Warpaint - The Fool, Marc Almond - Variete and MGMT - Congratulations (my appetite to it is quite addictive at first but then dies down suddenly). Manics, Klaxons and Bryan Ferry are a bit disappointing to me. Girls' EP is heartrending as ever but it's EP, so I don't count it in.

In the night there is someting wild, I feel it, it's leaving me

A sunny silent afternoon again. I don't like to draw the curtain down, for I can feel the warmth outside and see the glittering water flowing above my head, of course this is only the reflections of sunlight on the water, which is reflected on the ceiling of my office. Yes, there is a large artificial lake outside my window, with various big fishes swimming and bubbling. It's lovely to idle the life away, like the fish.

My most favourite album of this year:


1. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
i regard it as the part 2 of the Funeral, still about the agony of growing up, but of course Funeral is more "in the process" of growing up - frenetic, violent and reluctant, The Suburbs is more like "the aftermath", a hollow wasteland, but still reluctant. I love it cos' this album is actually very "me", haha, I the aftermath, the hollow wasteland.

"We used to wait, sometimes they never came." This is Win Butler's own Waiting for Godot. We wait, we waste and still we wait. I am convinced of this idea, how depressing. For human being we always have a restless heart to seek, for dreams, for the future, for meaning of life, haha, all these grand words. "In my dream I was almost there, then you pulled me aside and said you're going nowhere, I know we are the chosen few, but we're wasted, and that's why we're still waiting". Wasted Hours, my most favourite track of the album, its beginning reminds me of the summertime in my childhood, just staring out the window and doing nothing, this song somehow provides an exit (really?) for me. "Wishing you were anywhere but here, you watch the life you're living disappear, and now I see, we're still kids in buses longing to be free. Wasted hours before we knew, where to go, and what to do. Wasted hours, that you made new, and turned into, a life that we can live." Always out of place and out of time, we just feel frustrated, awkward, trapped inside a situation, longing to be free. Clueless, but we still try to seek (how ridiculous and also great we human being are), and before we find out the answer (for whatever questions), our life passed, like the fish, idle away, isn't it great?!


err... number 2 to the rest, maybe later.

festive seasons

I made my mull wine debut last Saturday, it was surprisingly delicious (and strongly alcoholic, good). I think I can be a good brewer or bartender, anything related to wine making.


it would look much professional if it was served in a glass bowl, but hey, it was actually very tasty!

made some quick presents for my friends:
just messed the frames with colours and further messed them up with cut n' paste patterns:


and then embroidered them with whatever junk i could find:


sometimes you will find it's easy to make people happy, but the first thing is you have to make yourself happy. Funny, i seem to be in good mood.

retail therapy (again)

I have much excuse to indulge myself this month and months ago, I did have plan to make myself something but I was just too lazy to start the work, so maybe i will delay it to the next year. "It was always mañana." haha, Kerouac told me. So what do I do to treat myself?

I didn't buy it for my big day. I ordered it months ago but it was the efficiency of British mail that I only received it yesterday. So now I can treat it as a gift to myself to celebrate my mortality. Yo, they are so lovely, worth the wait!

Junk boat and English boys crashing out, in a melancholy town where we never smile

If we could have frequent visit from the English boys like last week, of course we would smile a lot.

Press my retrieving button in my brain, I remember the vendetta was actually between Suede and Blur, not Blur and Oasis. The latter was like a marketing gimmick but the former I did feel a heartfelt hatred between the two front men. Me, a time-honoured protector of Brett, never openly admitted my liking for Blur. But long gone the history! I went to see Damon Albarn solo in Japan 2003 and found that I have to disarm in face of the golden boy. Last week, with his great multi-cultural and multi-generations' army of Gorillaz, I have to declare loudly of my fondness of his cuteness(!)

Sorry for the trace of idiotic fangirl's ramblings (that's what I'm good at), but Damon was CUTE. He bounced and jumped and posed and held hands with girl and waved the big big white flag, like a naughty boy. err OK, I have to stop myself talking like an imbecile. About the music: I actually do not like any music with hip-hop elements but Gorillaz is the exception. The HAHAHAHAHA DeLaSoul was perfect in Gorillaz and it's surprising that they would tour with the band. An even greater surprise was that Paul Simonon and Mick Jones also joined the tour - half of The Clash actually came and performed in my little hometown! That's really something grand in my eyes. To Binge, Damon and Little Dragon was so sweet on stage, with the word "poisoned" on screen, what? That's the real meaning of love? We were also surprised to find the Arabian (hooray for Syrian National Orchestra) and Chinese music blended so well with their hip-hop/rock/dance music. Yes, I put my dancing shoes on, great to bounce with 2D, Murdoc, Noodle and Russel whole night.


Gorillaz @ AsiaWorld-Expo, Hong Kong 03.12.2010, a song for Hong Kong


Paul Simonon and Mick Jones


Damon waved the big white flag :)

After the exhausting night with Gorillaz, there was Adam Ficek (or Roses Kings Castles)'s Acoustic+DJ night. It was a night of tender serenade as compared to the previous night of carnival and varieté. Like his music, Adam was languid and gentle, though he might explain his manner as a consequence of jet-lag. The acoustic set was not long, I think he just played for about 30 minutes, but it was a lovely little set. The natural, idyllic, sometimes vivid, sometimes wistful pop music, almost like the Turner's paintings. The serenade ended when Adam turned into his alter ego DJ Adam. It's a shame that there was no trace of the "million-dollars band"* in his playlist (and i guess the organiser "Supersonic" [aka "the Likely Lads", the name which tells a lot of their music preference] had to delete all the songs of the "million-dollars band" and its related band in their playlist that night). When will all vendettas between my favourite musicians end?


Adam Ficek @ Backstage, Hong Kong 04.12.2010, he looked a bit melancholic...


* Adam mentioned the "million-dollar band" (The Libertines) during his acoustic set and joked about he knew some secret ;p

To the Lighthouse

The Lighthouse was then a silvery, misty-looking tower with a yellow eye, that opened suddenly, and softly in the evening. Now—



I really like this little lighthouse, with very cute "bowl" for cider drinking and, of course those very delicious crepes.

something indicative

I know I always have problems but I never realize that they're so serious. I scored 36, oh my.


Are you alright?

愛念與怨念同樣重

copy a douban entry here, so i can have new post.



I can't help thinking of the memoirs of a geisha, i reckon it's a camp book title.


章節混亂，毫無時序可言，可能此乃作者風格，又可能作者行文時腦袋受其他物質影響，其實通通都不重要，因本書實在有趣，書如其人， 混亂、搞笑。but, no no, 難道我們樂迷們不知道Carlos其實是憂鬱的、認真的? （但作者的命運總是逃不過種種的偏差）

書的開首是比較咬文嚼字，我認為作者原先是想寫一本認真及優雅的自傳，但往後變得比較隨意及口語，沒關係吧，libertines都是shambolic的。內容方面，我當然最最最最最期待一切有關他與Peter的往事。没有驚天動地的祕聞，所說的相信樂迷們一早已知道。本書由頭到尾也經常地提及Peter，有時（我認為）作者對Peter刻意淡化，Peter僅是他的室友及樂團的拍擋；但有時Peter又被形容為他生命中（曾經的）重要伙伴；或他的伯樂，給他自信，助他克服舞台恐懼；有時作者會誠實地表示對Peter的懷念，期待遇上另一段刻骨銘心的「友情」，甚至會感懷地總結他的前半生就是失去了一段重大的「友情」。（對，作者十分強調「友情」關係，請粉絲們不要幻想太多。）但更清楚的著墨則是對這位朋友的控訴，像Peter和女友或友人無故失踪而丢下作者一人，致使他憂鬱發作；又或染上毒癮後的Peter失踪、失場、失控，作者怎樣獨自承受失去至愛朋友的痛苦同時又不被其他人了解，甚至要忍受無知粉絲的謾罵。我是相信、理解及同情作者的，很想拍一拍他的背，說句感謝及欣賞的話，但同時我又感到快要被作者千斤重的怨念淹沒。

文中提到作者跟Anthony Rossomando 及Danny Goffey 的友情也很甜蜜，但不明白為什麼找不到Tim Burgess的踪影，他們不是很要好的嗎？（或是我看得太快，看漏了眼？）

另外作者亳無掩飾對毒品及酒精的鍾愛，雖然最後言之鑿鑿向從前講再見，唔 … 不予置評。

本書的大部份內容我是覺得有趣的，只是到最後有少許不耐煩，如他的交待近況（太hard sell）；訴說怎樣愛新女友、新生命、新生活（太不rock n’ roll太正常了，我就是那些吸血鬼般的粉絲，只愛異常的、墜落的、被摧殘的、憂鬱症的或狂喜的，正常人（如自己）太沒趣了）；及最终回的真情剖白，我明白作者經歷過非一般的高與低，我無意輕視任何人的痛苦，尤其是親愛的作者，所以當我對他在最終回的剖白納悶時，其實我是有罪疚感的，但最終回提到之焦慮、寂寞、迷失、毒品、酒精、女友、重回人間（不是之前已講過嗎？），太像一些emo kids 的blog文或日記了（在此我又輕視了emo kids 的痛苦，真不應該），我想，可能作者仍然是一名emo kid 吧（沒有眨義的）。

save me from tomorrow

I hate these words, they're so true.

Deep down, all the while, she was waiting for something to happen. Like a sailor in distress, she kept casting desperate glances over the solitary waster of her life, seeking some white sail in the distant mists of the horizon. She had no idea by what wind it would reach her, toward what shore it would bear her, or what kind of craft it would be – tiny boat or towering vessel, laden with heartbreaks or filled to the gunwhales with rapture. But every morning when she awoke she hoped that today would be the day; she listened for every sound, gave sudden starts, was surprised when nothing happened; and then, sadder with each succeeding sunset, she longed for tomorrow.

Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert

not a book of revelation

Oh he can write! It's definitely an interesting read, though there are too many vocabularies (my poor english) and pseudonyms. It's funny to read between lines and found the unintentional (but actually very obvious) explanation about the life with peter. He wanted to point out that they only lived under the same roof, but not the same room. He did not share the grand brass bed. The co-bank account was only for work purpose. So what we've read before is false or we are all just too imaginative.




Not relevant to his book, but I just found it's so beautiful and I want to put it on my blog. History.



nicked from someone else's blog, can't even remember where so i can't give credit, sorry.

oh the book turns gloomy, actually there's nothing new, salute to the writer.

Because all things will change and as your God explains, we live again

Brett Anderson Live @ HITEC Hong Kong, 1.10.2010




I just want to say, I love that evening very much. No suede song. Great that Brett finally made an unequivocal stance that he has moved on, with elegance and grace, without shedding any excitement. Many ex-suede lovers, now the suede/brett-haters (the change was due to their belief that the man is living in the past while they've improved), please hear the songs and watch the man before bestowal of your precious criticism. He is still the diva, twisted and danced like the old days, or transcended us to the sublime different place, or, with the sedative guitar sounds, prayed with us in a mysterious occult, collective delirium.

when she wakes up in the morning

I didn't eat or drink or even go to toilet for the whole sunday (not too good for one's health), just to stitch this word on the spine of the book. I'm glad i made it, though frankly, i hardly believe in this word anymore. I have a pocketful of its broken pieces, and i seldom touch them, they hurt.

meow

This is my first attempt to make a rubber stamp as birthday gift for a cat lover, hope she won't mind my substandard work.

Back to you

Brett Anderson will come to Hong Kong again. It becomes sort of automation that whenever Brett comes here, I'll attend. Many people are not that enthusiastic to this man now because they think that his time has passed. How they are wrong. To be honest, I am not looking for any excitement or nostalgia related to suede. I am looking for a night of beautiful music, the music from his three solo albums.



****************************


Britpop, the best era? (of course not, haha, but glad to see so many faces when they were still young)



british music experience, i don't know if i like it or not. Yes, I like its jukebox and its hi-tech approach (that could dazzle the lo-tech person like me), but everything is just too brief, or it never intends to be a serious exhibition. It's just an entertainment for a family (as every member of a family probably may find his/her favourite era). That very industry-driven approach also made me intrigue. Expensive merchandise. Joining fee to be a whatever member. Very expensive admission fee. I got a strange dislike to exhibit/present/summarise music like a commodities/in any substantiate form/a statement/a poster/an outfit. I wonder if I would go had i not won the free ticket by the quiz (as the tix is really expensive). But as my ticket was free, I should keep my mouth shut. Oh yes, there are some items i really like:



Brett's draft of the lyrics

"For what we've lost we will find again, never never!"

– Charles Baudelaire, The Swan, The Flowers of Evil

(but you know I never say never never say never again)

English weather.

Cold. Drizzled all day. No sun. I shouldn't feel disgusted about it. I vowed my fondness for the Victorian grey. But in my memory English summers were always warm, blue skies with dandelions dancing in the air. On the other hand, I remember when I came there for study many years ago, it was so chilly and I did not bring enough clothes. So whether English summer should be sunny or bleak, my memory cannot tell (or it tells both). This time the weather was bleak, and again I did not bring enough clothes, shivered with cold and hunger, I realized, "this is England, the place I love."

Those glittering.

Back to the forum. For the same band. I had three miraculous nights in 2003. In 25 August 2010, the blood-red words "SOLD OUT" sentenced me that I had no miracle. Still I walked there again, with my dear fellow desperados, in the pouring rain, we were waiting for godot. Maybe we just wanted to eavesdrop the music played or maybe, though we could not attend, we still wanted to participate in our own way this very important event. Horrorshow, the usual opening track, sent me back to the nights that I could howl with the boys. Actually I could still howl with the boys that night, just between the walls. John, Carlos and Gary were so kind to console all the restless souls after the show. Peter ... oh Peter. My intuition told me that he was still in the building, I just lacked a bit gut/luck. During the endless wait, a handful of glittering dust was suddenly poured down the street from the window, someone's naughty act, but the glitter, so symbolic and dazzling, almost dream-like, and we all knew what that dream was called.


The Libertines warm-up gig @ Forum, London 25.08.2010

The intermezzo

If I could even bump into Mr Barat in a club, I knew that I have a tendency to meet him. The Levi’s shop performance was almost a last-minute call. After the series of defeat in that libertines' lucky draw ballot and scramble for ticket, I did not have high hope for it but it turned out that I was able to access. It was an intimate gig, just about 150 people. Mr Barat looked tired and coughed a lot, blamed it on the busy schedule. The show was opened by Deadwood, and later Bang Bang, would it be a bit embarrassing to sing it now (just as if Gang of Gin by Peter?) Of course the performance was mainly for promotion of his new songs but I was not familiar with them (forgive me!) TFH and CSMN, the crowd went crazy. We then chanted Death on the Stairs but Carlos did not give in. In the Q&A section, we kept asking him if there would be more shows of the libertines, any secret gig tonight, haha, poor Carlos. There's also someone shouted out loud how Carl was sold to money. That guy was rude and was expelled, though we might secretly agree to what he'd said. On a second thought, didn't we all treat Carl a bit unnice? Years ago Peter performed in Selfridges for Gio-Goi, we were (at least I was) all mesmerized, in it for money, who cares?


Carlos Barat @ Levi's Shop, Regent Street, London 26.08.2010


Everyone is gonna be happy
Everyone is gonna be happy
But of course



Who cares about anything? So long as they are together again. That was a pure act of indulgence. Let us all drown in the Arcadian bliss. We all knew that music festival may not be an ideal occasion for the reunion of our dear band - the band which holds intimate connection with the audience - the communal audience who believes in all those myths of romanticism and albion reveries spread by the very band, everything that is opposite to a usual music festival (too big, too distant, too many wankers), or not? Let’s forget the distance and embrace your neighbour. Yes, that was a pure act of indulgence, let us all drown in the Arcadian bliss. We all sang from the first song Horrorshow to the last I Get Along, we screamed, we shouted, we could only express ourselves in this most primitive way because we could not find the right word, and we all just wanted to say, how we love and care, our dear old band The Libertines.

Peter was a bit sulky in the beginning (or was I too sensitive to his facial expression and then thinking too much?) but later, he seemed to be melted by sweet Carlos in the Music When The Lights Go Out. We all sincerely sang What Became Of The Likely Lads? That was indeed our question, but they could not provide the answer. We (and the band) did not know. We only knew in this instance, we were happy, and we certainly took this instance into eternity.


The Libertines @ Reading Festival 28.08.2010

Once I had left a piece of my heart in London, I found it again in the magic night.



I eventually saw a sunny sky in London and in this late summer, even the sun became so tender. I decided to leave a piece of my heart in London again, so that I will have to come back again, and again.

this city's hard

this city's fair?

late practice

This blog is becoming my journal for handicraft, haha, for my trait of sentimentality has disappeared recently, so there will be no words for music, poems or toothache. I feel like I'm pretty practical now, yeah, making useless things and feel like practical (do I make sense here?)



It's difficult for a clumsy people like me to make a rubber stamp with lace-stripe pattern. Even if i did carve it (with flaws of course), it's so difficult to stamp it together continuously and smoothly like a real lace stripe. Yeah, need to practice more.

The scent (sense) of book

I have a strange foible that whenever I'm in a bookshop, I like to breathe deeply. I love that scent of books which never fails to give me a nerve-tangling joy. Of course a primitive like me also like that solid and physical feeling of a real book - how you can count the pages which you have read, how a page creases by raindrops or teardrops, how pages are all turned yellow by the passing of time.

Book rocks! (e-book, boo...)

Sound like a book-lover. No, no, far from it. I read too slow and too little (I've only read 2 books so far this year *shhhh*). But book-making-lover? Yes, yes! I found great fun in it.





My first "proper" handmade book. (as in the past, my books are too "amateur" ;p)

sometimes i still hear it singing its wild songs

and see it collecting those worthless glittering.

The solipsist

à mon cher petit Robert
Son inaltérablemen fidèle et tendre ami.

I think he looked so much like carl barat in this photo.
Oh yes, I'm bored.