– Charles Baudelaire, The Swan, The Flowers of Evil
(but you know I never say never never say never again)
Cold. Drizzled all day. No sun. I shouldn't feel disgusted about it. I vowed my fondness for the Victorian grey. But in my memory English summers were always warm, blue skies with dandelions dancing in the air. On the other hand, I remember when I came there for study many years ago, it was so chilly and I did not bring enough clothes. So whether English summer should be sunny or bleak, my memory cannot tell (or it tells both). This time the weather was bleak, and again I did not bring enough clothes, shivered with cold and hunger, I realized, "this is England, the place I love."
Back to the forum. For the same band. I had three miraculous nights in 2003. In 25 August 2010, the blood-red words "SOLD OUT" sentenced me that I had no miracle. Still I walked there again, with my dear fellow desperados, in the pouring rain, we were waiting for godot. Maybe we just wanted to eavesdrop the music played or maybe, though we could not attend, we still wanted to participate in our own way this very important event. Horrorshow, the usual opening track, sent me back to the nights that I could howl with the boys. Actually I could still howl with the boys that night, just between the walls. John, Carlos and Gary were so kind to console all the restless souls after the show. Peter ... oh Peter. My intuition told me that he was still in the building, I just lacked a bit gut/luck. During the endless wait, a handful of glittering dust was suddenly poured down the street from the window, someone's naughty act, but the glitter, so symbolic and dazzling, almost dream-like, and we all knew what that dream was called.
The Libertines warm-up gig @ Forum, London 25.08.2010
If I could even bump into Mr Barat in a club, I knew that I have a tendency to meet him. The Levi’s shop performance was almost a last-minute call. After the series of defeat in that libertines' lucky draw ballot and scramble for ticket, I did not have high hope for it but it turned out that I was able to access. It was an intimate gig, just about 150 people. Mr Barat looked tired and coughed a lot, blamed it on the busy schedule. The show was opened by Deadwood, and later Bang Bang, would it be a bit embarrassing to sing it now (just as if Gang of Gin by Peter?) Of course the performance was mainly for promotion of his new songs but I was not familiar with them (forgive me!) TFH and CSMN, the crowd went crazy. We then chanted Death on the Stairs but Carlos did not give in. In the Q&A section, we kept asking him if there would be more shows of the libertines, any secret gig tonight, haha, poor Carlos. There's also someone shouted out loud how Carl was sold to money. That guy was rude and was expelled, though we might secretly agree to what he'd said. On a second thought, didn't we all treat Carl a bit unnice? Years ago Peter performed in Selfridges for Gio-Goi, we were (at least I was) all mesmerized, in it for money, who cares?
Carlos Barat @ Levi's Shop, Regent Street, London 26.08.2010
Everyone is gonna be happy
Everyone is gonna be happy
But of course
Who cares about anything? So long as they are together again. That was a pure act of indulgence. Let us all drown in the Arcadian bliss. We all knew that music festival may not be an ideal occasion for the reunion of our dear band - the band which holds intimate connection with the audience - the communal audience who believes in all those myths of romanticism and albion reveries spread by the very band, everything that is opposite to a usual music festival (too big, too distant, too many wankers), or not? Let’s forget the distance and embrace your neighbour. Yes, that was a pure act of indulgence, let us all drown in the Arcadian bliss. We all sang from the first song Horrorshow to the last I Get Along, we screamed, we shouted, we could only express ourselves in this most primitive way because we could not find the right word, and we all just wanted to say, how we love and care, our dear old band The Libertines.
Peter was a bit sulky in the beginning (or was I too sensitive to his facial expression and then thinking too much?) but later, he seemed to be melted by sweet Carlos in the Music When The Lights Go Out. We all sincerely sang What Became Of The Likely Lads? That was indeed our question, but they could not provide the answer. We (and the band) did not know. We only knew in this instance, we were happy, and we certainly took this instance into eternity.
The Libertines @ Reading Festival 28.08.2010
Once I had left a piece of my heart in London, I found it again in the magic night.
I eventually saw a sunny sky in London and in this late summer, even the sun became so tender. I decided to leave a piece of my heart in London again, so that I will have to come back again, and again.