Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

Let there be love, mates!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Pissed off baby

Current mood (or I should say "constant mood") :

Always want to:

It was a nice surprise when I went to see Rent in HKAPA, I was told by my cousin that there was an exhibition of Yoshitmoto Nara in the hong kong arts centre. I love nara's little violent baby. She is so innocently evil, always pissed off, despise everything. She is like my subconscious ego, only I don't have the guts to show my real feeling and have to put on the bloody smiley face (so fake, little violent baby despises it!!! No, I don't want to .... This self-conversation turns me into nervous breakdown >_<) Talk about Rent, Karen Mok was surely a flaw, organiser should bring the whole new york team rather than let a HK star to ruin the production. "La vie boheme" Making something out of nothing The need to express To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension (sadly this bunch of boheme either died of aids or no money to pay any rent, no no no, me as a (wanna be) beheme don't believe it)

The Pao Gallery

Friday, December 23, 2005

Everything goes but the feeling

Email him, wish him happy and healthy. My mind goes with the shambolic baby in every christmas until the death of me/him.

I won the so-called big prize in office Christmas party - a very big vase, actually no use for me.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


Wow, what are they?

Yes, the wires that make me wild (haha, no, I'm not wild at all)
This device look so strange, like a monster crawling on my head, or it looks like some kind of ancient equipment for torture. Ha, I know I'm having too much hallucination.

It's quite torturing indeed, I couldn't move and I had headache the day after.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Today's special

Two writing in a day?! cos today is special. Today is the office gathering, i.e. dinner tonight together with mahjong playing and karaoke. I'm not keen on those two items, what shall I do? Can I just disappear without anyone's notice?
And today is appraisal day. Result: Pass

Lennon Remembrance

He's witty
a non-conformist
once a hippie
always naughty
and a walrus
He left us the idea to fight for a better world
and he left on this date 25 years ago

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Picture of you

Dear Mr Barat,

Must show you and your pretty missus this picture if I can see you again in UK (hope you still hang around Trash even if Dirty Pretty Things becomes big and famous). Thank you for bestowing your beauty and charm upon my grey working life. It's wonderful to know I can always see the pretty boy just round the corner.

J. Linderberg, The Landmark, Central

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

It is very boring indeed

As per the request from several "concerned parties", I now show you the pictures of my office, i.e. the confinement which I'm condemned to.

It looks messy, though not many documents, cos' I'm messy, shambolic, kittyshambles yeah!

Look, there is a newspaper hanging on the notice board by my boss before I came here (the date is 29 July 2005). The newspaper is already yellowed but I still haven't put it down, I'm just too lazy and do not have any attempt to try to decorate this cubicle. Let it yellow, even brown, and decay. In fact this notice board is good for pinning up some of my idols, but I don't want to bring any of my favourite items to office. They will be contaminated. No bearbrick. No Libertines. Don't make yourself at home in office. Don't grow your root in office. Office should be boring. You should just work work work (or dream, go internet, phone friends) in the office. Time's up, go!
By the way, I hate these big windows (no, they're not windows, they can't be opened, just the transparent squares) on the partition wall. All people can see if I fall asleep or go internet!!!

Boss' room (with big window) behind me. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING ME!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

I was robbed of liberty for 5 hours

So, it was not a century long, though it's still a bit long. I mean the cocktail + grand dinner I was made to attend compulsorily. At first I was worried if it would be another awful and embarrassing experience for me because I hardly know who I am. Sometimes I felt like socialize but many more times I was just a sulky social inept, oh my, it might just be another event to strengthen my sense of alienation. Thanks God I acted (or I think I acted) like a normal decent person, smiled and welcomed strangers. The socialize self was aptly present while much effort was made to suppress the autistic child within me and paralyse the bad kitty who asked for stout and joint everywhere. Good to see Eason Chan, best male singer in Hong Kong (and also nice to see Alan Tam, I liked him when I was much younger ^^).

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Peeped through the window, what did you see?

I saw tilted floor, marble pillars and golden banister. I saw formalities, but I don't hate such formalities, which is strange, as I am the one who detest all kind of chains and pretention. Maybe I do miss the old Hong Kong which exists in my memory or imagination. Maybe I did enjoy sneaking out of office in the name of attending panal meeting. People argued for the sake of arguing, some had points, some hadn't. Jotting down notes for idle meeting, not bad for a Tuesday afternoon.

Legislative Council, a beautiful colonial building

Monday, November 07, 2005

Attack! Attack! Attack!

Flu Attack! Help!!!
Need to sleep early tonight (though it's already 12:30am, still early for me). Need some good hot spicy Thai food to wake up my senses. Need beer to cool down. Need whisky to warm up. Need Lemsip (yeah, "Lemsip is the best", paul the poet said. We must believe in poet).
Hope I feel better tomorrow.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Ranting, ramblings I

What is the point of online diary? Does anyone write the most secret personal stuff like the real diary? Or they just put some fake information? Pages of bluff or lies? Probably just pages of ramblings. An internal urge just to satisfy yourself and no one else. Like Haruki Murakami once said, writing is like sweeping away the snow accumulated outside your door - an internal urge, to clear the thought. No need for any readers.

I told the screen that I knew you're the computer so I could write whatever I wanted and told you the truth. Truth is sometimes hard to find, evaded, hidden, confused, contaminated by so many people, but I found out a fact - dug out the truth today, like shelock holmes. They try to shift the blame on kittyshambles (for she is the speechless, defenceless long-gone history). Being the constantly insecure and diffident nobody, she even doubt herself and thought if she ever committed such mistake like they said. No no no. 26 Aug is what I need to know. Kittyshambles no need to worry. She knows the picture now. Those fuckers ....

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Mellow swallow

Nobody knows if they are real russians or not. What do you feel if you have to sing in front of a bunch of gluttons, who probably do not understand/care what you are singing about? Behind those catchy traditional Russian folk songs, there is some kind of alienation. Mine or theirs? Pretty vacant, pretty strained.

Balalaika, Lan Kwai Fong

Monday, October 10, 2005

Digging treasure

The 77 demos are so good, they make my eyes wet, I want The Libertines back together!!!! No return to the good old days ...(sigh!)

Found out much live footage of The Strokes, I almost forgot how good The Strokes are used to be. Cute boys ^^, idiotic fangirl me.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Money to burn

I've got no money to burn baby
Why don't we just sit down and chat maybe
Need no substance to make me high
Need no make-up to glam me up
I'm broke but I'm chuffed (no, not really).

Broccoli with sole, Isola in Two International Finance Centre

Does it look delicious? It is indeed delicious. However, the price of the meal is not so "delicious". Blame it on my posh friends. With them, I feel like I am living in a different world, anyway, people are different, with different value judgment, and that's what makes the world go round. Stella Artois or that expensive Chardonnay? Stella of course!

Friday, September 23, 2005


Haha, didn't he feel a bit "cool" at the bottom? I can't remember which station it is but funny things can actually be found anywhere. I am also amazed by the zoom effect of my cheap mobile.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Gathering moss idly

valium needed in convalescence
enjoy it
enjoy it
enjoy it (told you so)
restless and faceless
why can't I
why can't I
why can't I

Still too lazy to do anything for the photos at home, and I can't photoshop in the office, actually I can't go to internet in the office now (today is exception). How to pass time in the office without internet???

Friday, September 16, 2005

White riot

White riot - I wanna riot
White riot - a riot of my own

This was the riot for the sake of riot, come on, it's bloody stupid and not fun at all. Rebel Without A Cause, huh!? I was woken up at about 2:00 am because there was a series of explosion just within 5 metres from my tent. It made me think of the film 28 Days Later, all people were mental (they were chanting "riot! riot!" like under some magic spell and continuously throwing beer to the fire to make explosion). It's kind of contagious. My tent was set up near Piccadilly Circus (the fire and explosion was started there). In order to save my life, I abandoned my tent and escaped to the Yellow Zone (but the riot then spread to the Yellow Zone also, see, it's contagious!) Owing to the so-called good fun of a riot, my shoulder was hit by a full can of beer (I should thank my Lord, I might be killed by that can if it was thrown a few centimetres higher).

I was forced to stay awake for the rest of the night, there're millions beautiful stars up in the sky which I've never noticed in the whole weekend, so it is always true that when you lost something (my tent which I would throw away anyway and my sleeping hours which I cherished much as I didn't want to have the panda eyes) , you found something also (the beautiful sky).

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Blue sky and sunshine

The beauty of the northern sunshine - this is the sky I saw when I lay down on the grass of Bramham Park in Leeds. The weather was nice in this year Leeds Festival so I took much pleasure in just lying on the grass idly and listening to the music. How I hoped that moment would freeze to eternity. Graham Coxon left an extra-ordinary sweet memory to me. Of course the whole festival also got a dark side (like everything in the world but I don't want to elaborate it right now). Past challenges always seem to be the most easiest task. In this moment, I still say it's fun and enjoyable to go to music festival.

Highlight: Iggy Pop, Graham Coxon, The Coral, Pixies, The Cribs (yeah!), Arcade Fire and The Tears.

Look at my tent, it's pretty good. There were little Hello Kitty stickers and name tag there!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Back from the ...

I can hardly touch my notebook since the return from my trip. Actually I've thousands words want to express in both my website (which I've deserted for a good while) and also this garden but I was so busy in 'tripping' (so i can't update the part for The Tears gig in Hong Kong) and foolishly try to clear my old work in the old office last week (so I can't update the part of my trip).

This is the first day of my new job! There are so many things need to be learnt, pray Force Be With Me.

David, I've watched part of the dvd What The Fxxk of PD, it made me sad whenever I saw that madness in his eyes, he's no longer the chubby cherub, no, I still think he retains some part of an angelic soul, but clearly something is lost in the way....
he had come back from the dead
I keep it in reach
keep it in the fridge
courage my dear
when you look them in the eye
laugh if they try to be funny
because you need their money now you need their money

Yes actually I am also just coming from the near-death experience in my trip, the first time innocence, the second time ignorance, don't want to mention any of it, the secret I'll bring to grave. Hope I've time to write tomorrow....

Thursday, August 11, 2005

There is an end to even the worst career!!!!

There is an end to even the worst career. That is what I want to say today.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I Got Gift

Yes, today I received a gift from the famous talented girl in Central, Vv!!!
She made the picture by her O2 mini, isn't she wonderful?!
Thank you Vv, kissy kissy.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ask me I won't say no how could I

What constitutes a good pub? Cheap beer, cheap food ...
But what I like most is the music which brings a nice surprise.

"Spending warm summer days indoor
Writing frightening verse
to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg"

Wow, that's my song, The Smiths - Ask, playing in al diner (in lan kwai fong, the most cliche and uncool place in hong kong)!!!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Strange leaves

I found this beautiful leaf in a Japaneses restaurant.

This restaurant is situated in Soho, has very delicious sashimi, love it!
Pretty leaf, let's have a closer look.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Blue Monday

How come I'm also on the list of the bloody training? Holy shit, it starts from 7:15 am!!! Totallyunfair! I always work overtime till 10:30 pm, how can I wake up like 6:00 am to attend?!!! I'm not part that fuxking organisation. I wonder I'm only there to fill up the blank. Nobody knows my name there!!!! I don't know anybody there, I'm a total stranger.

My nose feels like "jumping" in the whole day, like there's something wrong in my body, it's 9:05 pm now, everybody left the office except me, I don't know how to do my job and nobody can help me, I have no mood to turn on the stereo, I just want to scream bloody murder and say a big FUXK to all the relevant people. I have every right to have my Tourette's Syndrome.

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning
Brings the dawn in
It's just a restless feeling by my side
Early dawning
Sunday morning
It's just the wasted years so close behind
Watch out the world's behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all

Sunday morning
And I'm falling
I've got a feeling I don't want to know
Early dawning
Sunday morning
It's all the streets you crossed, not so long ago
Watch out the world's behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all

sitting in the sun, eating my big breakfast in Mac don don in the Sunday morning, humming the song ..... a good song, where can I score?

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Kitty Ramblings

Wow, I really should re-name the title of the last message, it's wrong to say "want to die" when there are innocent people dying (but I can't help the suicidal feeling sometimes, so don't blame me). Of course I'm talking about London terrorist attack. Don't know why the terrorists would choose London, it's the place of the most cultural/racial/religious tolerance and diversity I reckon and that is also the reason why I love London so much. BNP must use this incident for their propaganda and promote the racist shit. I don't worry about bilo and biggles or the rest of the army as they never wake up so early, don't know if Rabba is OK. Gung is lucky to move her base to Southampton.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I want to die ah!

Work sucks!!!! I stayed in the office till 10:30 p.m. last night but still I couldn't finish my work. Legal division has only me to deal with the whole group and this firm has numerous disputes and litigations and agreements! Many lame people here, waiting for you to approve everything, to discuss every triviality through meeting (a total waste of time) or even ask you to make the enquiry to someone else for them (why don't they ask that particular person directly?), not that they're so idiotic that they can't do it themselves, but they want to pull you into the net and share the liability if the things don't work out. The big boss is very fastidious and perfectionist, you know I can't blame her as it's her virtue but I'm such a clumsy and careless person, my work never satisfy her!!!!

No fun in life
I want to die
or I want to cry
Give me crack or white line >_<

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Lady Bacchus

Clink Clink, let's drown in the inexplicable dream
Down to the sea singing the siren's song
Fly up high taking the angel's dust
Lady Bacchus fears nothing but boredom
Drink Drink, let's consume the whole in a gulp
Tease the world before it gets you down
Sip the poison thinking naught
Lady Bacchus lives in the eternal bliss of oblivion!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Omens everywhere

Why are there so many people reading The Alchemist now? Michael told me it's good and I told it to my boss so everybody is now reading it, even Miss Pretty in my office. I may regard it as some kind of omens like the book says. Micheal said I'm like that crystal merchant, no I'm much worse than him as I even don't have a crystal shop to hold me back, I'm such lazy motherfxxker so I don't look for any change, too bad, loser, like the title, I'm kept sedated.

The book is actually quite good, a small inpirational fairy tale. It may over-simplify our life and pursuit of dream and the wisdom is also a bit cliche, but sadly cliche is always right. Examples of cliche (or wisdom if you like) :
1. Everything has a cost (yes, that's also the theme of my recent favourite anime Fullmetal Alchemist).
2. Pursuit your dream no matter what, God helps the ones who "dare" to chase their dream.
3. Listen to your heart, treasure is where your heart is.
4. Even if someone fail/die in chasing his/her dream, it's still better than doing nothing.

Monday, June 13, 2005

The hand asks noodles first

Our hands stretching out, cling to nothing, like
Our minds howling wild, seach for something, still
We reaching out,
intermingle like intermezzos
spill the soup
have a glut
We shall never be a gang of gloom.

The noodles of this noodles shop "Fish Rice what" got too much artificial flavor and I was quite thirsty afterwards. Actually this picture is also a bit creepy to me.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Happy Birthday Carlos

It's been 365 days for the last Libertines on stage together.

Happy Birthday Carlos!!!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Victorian stereotypes

Ha, I'm the artiste, yes, I admit it shamelessly that I live in poverty but do not like to work and I think (or mistake myself?) I'm cultural and I despise many people, haha, that's bohemian!!!

Do the test:

I scored as the Artiste :
"You like cafes you can't afford and clothes you don't wash. You love to "epater la bourgouisie" You'll show everyone someday- your parents, the academy, that whore who turned you down on the street... Now, if only you could afford socks."

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I feel having Tourette

I feel so fxxcking suffocated and suicidal in the office, my life is meaningless and pathetic!!! others - useless, idiotic.

Surf to the 10dp forum and someone recommend the following website. It's amazing :

Type your name, it will make your name a slogan, such as "Kitty Forever" but "sloganisation" of my name is not what I think it's brilliant, try to type the rude words (I've typed "suicide", "sex", "fuck", "crack" haha, very funny result), it's absolute hilarious!!!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Festival Reminder (hope I will check here again in August)

For my own information, I have to list out all the essentials I need to bring to the camp:

Spare Pegs
Sleeping Bag
Air Bed (?) /Mattress
Toilet Roll
Wet Wipe
Toothbrush, toothpaste, facewash
Spare batteries for mobile and camera
Carrier bags
Nice stickers to decorate the tent
Water container
Perfume (may be useful when going to toilet)
Essential - ticket, cash.

Do I have any omission? Ha, seems like not too many things which I have to carry, not as difficult as I think.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Looking at the world in his lordship's nonchalance

I met him when I was hiking to the Peak. He looked so cool and proud, no matter how hard I flirted, he didn't pay any attention ....

"Stop hassling me". (Don't be cruel, I'm kitty too) Ha, he turned his back to me, must be a real annoyance to him.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Gratitude for the generous heart

I am chuffed to receive the vcd recording of Channel 4 documentary "Stalking Peter Doherty" from the generous David. Thank you very much!!!

The said documentary was not about Pete as the whole programme was just about this Max Carlish rambling to the camera. It's ridiculous that he wasted the film to record himself so that there was no more left to record Pete. This Carlish guy utterly embarrassed himself and I feel terribly sorry for his mum. Pete served him right by punching him but of course Pete is no saint himself. Don't like the sight of James Mullard. Dot Allison probably a crack user also, sorry, but this is my diary I can say what i want.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Tongue-tied, hands-tied and tired mind

I got the blog account finally, mainly to pass the time in my own prison. I hate my tame and sedated mind, I will break free one day.