Tuesday, October 26, 2010

愛念與怨念同樣重

copy a douban entry here, so i can have new post.



I can't help thinking of the memoirs of a geisha, i reckon it's a camp book title.


章節混亂,毫無時序可言,可能此乃作者風格,又可能作者行文時腦袋受其他物質影響,其實通通都不重要,因本書實在有趣,書如其人, 混亂、搞笑。but, no no, 難道我們樂迷們不知道Carlos其實是憂鬱的、認真的? (但作者的命運總是逃不過種種的偏差)

書的開首是比較咬文嚼字,我認為作者原先是想寫一本認真及優雅的自傳,但往後變得比較隨意及口語,沒關係吧,libertines都是shambolic的。內容方面,我當然最最最最最期待一切有關他與Peter的往事。没有驚天動地的祕聞,所說的相信樂迷們一早已知道。本書由頭到尾也經常地提及Peter,有時(我認為)作者對Peter刻意淡化,Peter僅是他的室友及樂團的拍擋;但有時Peter又被形容為他生命中(曾經的)重要伙伴;或他的伯樂,給他自信,助他克服舞台恐懼;有時作者會誠實地表示對Peter的懷念,期待遇上另一段刻骨銘心的「友情」,甚至會感懷地總結他的前半生就是失去了一段重大的「友情」。(對,作者十分強調「友情」關係,請粉絲們不要幻想太多。)但更清楚的著墨則是對這位朋友的控訴,像Peter和女友或友人無故失踪而丢下作者一人,致使他憂鬱發作;又或染上毒癮後的Peter失踪、失場、失控,作者怎樣獨自承受失去至愛朋友的痛苦同時又不被其他人了解,甚至要忍受無知粉絲的謾罵。我是相信、理解及同情作者的,很想拍一拍他的背,說句感謝及欣賞的話,但同時我又感到快要被作者千斤重的怨念淹沒。

文中提到作者跟Anthony Rossomando 及Danny Goffey 的友情也很甜蜜,但不明白為什麼找不到Tim Burgess的踪影,他們不是很要好的嗎?(或是我看得太快,看漏了眼?)

另外作者亳無掩飾對毒品及酒精的鍾愛,雖然最後言之鑿鑿向從前講再見,唔 … 不予置評。

本書的大部份內容我是覺得有趣的,只是到最後有少許不耐煩,如他的交待近況(太hard sell);訴說怎樣愛新女友、新生命、新生活(太不rock n’ roll太正常了,我就是那些吸血鬼般的粉絲,只愛異常的、墜落的、被摧殘的、憂鬱症的或狂喜的,正常人(如自己)太沒趣了);及最终回的真情剖白,我明白作者經歷過非一般的高與低,我無意輕視任何人的痛苦,尤其是親愛的作者,所以當我對他在最終回的剖白納悶時,其實我是有罪疚感的,但最終回提到之焦慮、寂寞、迷失、毒品、酒精、女友、重回人間(不是之前已講過嗎?),太像一些emo kids 的blog文或日記了(在此我又輕視了emo kids 的痛苦,真不應該),我想,可能作者仍然是一名emo kid 吧(沒有眨義的)。

Friday, October 22, 2010

save me from tomorrow

I hate these words, they're so true.

Deep down, all the while, she was waiting for something to happen. Like a sailor in distress, she kept casting desperate glances over the solitary waster of her life, seeking some white sail in the distant mists of the horizon. She had no idea by what wind it would reach her, toward what shore it would bear her, or what kind of craft it would be – tiny boat or towering vessel, laden with heartbreaks or filled to the gunwhales with rapture. But every morning when she awoke she hoped that today would be the day; she listened for every sound, gave sudden starts, was surprised when nothing happened; and then, sadder with each succeeding sunset, she longed for tomorrow.


Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

not a book of revelation

Oh he can write! It's definitely an interesting read, though there are too many vocabularies (my poor english) and pseudonyms. It's funny to read between lines and found the unintentional (but actually very obvious) explanation about the life with peter. He wanted to point out that they only lived under the same roof, but not the same room. He did not share the grand brass bed. The co-bank account was only for work purpose. So what we've read before is false or we are all just too imaginative.




Not relevant to his book, but I just found it's so beautiful and I want to put it on my blog. History.



nicked from someone else's blog, can't even remember where so i can't give credit, sorry.

oh the book turns gloomy, actually there's nothing new, salute to the writer.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Because all things will change and as your God explains, we live again

Brett Anderson Live @ HITEC Hong Kong, 1.10.2010

still a diva


I just want to say, I love that evening very much. No suede song. Great that Brett finally made an unequivocal stance that he has moved on, with elegance and grace, without shedding any excitement. Many ex-suede lovers, now the suede/brett-haters (the change was due to their belief that the man is living in the past while they've improved), please hear the songs and watch the man before bestowal of your precious criticism. He is still the diva, twisted and danced like the old days, or transcended us to the sublime different place, or, with the sedative guitar sounds, prayed with us in a mysterious occult, collective delirium.