Cloud Atlas

From day one, we knew that it wouldn't be an easy road.  We are facing one of the most authoritarian regimes of the world and we know just too well of its (dark) history, of how it mercilessly silenced its dissidents and crushed every quest for freedom and justice.  Too many people with stockholm syndrome, too many cops with crime of banality.  It's like we are fighting for the impossible.  It's time we have to choose if we want to be an intact tile or broken jade, if we want to be a pig in a cage on antibiotics or fight as a human in dignity (and we may lose and ...)

"Oh to fight is to defend if it's not now
then tell me when would be the time that you would stand up and be a man
For to lose I could accept but to surrender
I just wept and regretted this moment,
oh that I, I was the fool

I don't know where the sun beams end and the star lights begins
it's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides what right for his own life,
it's all a mystery"

This month's favourite

If everything is too depressing, at least I still have good music.

The Jacques - Weekends

Oh, this is the style I like.  

https://soundcloud.com/the-jacques/weekends-3

CC - Bo Ningen                            

I like it just because it has Jehnny Beth.

Tim Wheeler - Vigil

Tim has aged so much, I always thought he's still the cute guy from Ash.  I like the song and the music video, never saw such melancholic firework. 

 

Forever 君はひとりじゃない

These words are for the people of my hometown who were battered by the evil.  The road is hard, but we soldier on.














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It's always sad to read the final chapter of your beloved manga, though it's a happy ending.

I feel ambivalent if Masashi Kishimoto will continue the story.  I don't want to turn Naruto into another Dragonball Z.  I want Naruto and Gaara just stay 16 forever.







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of course the hentai me feel so chuffed by looking the above picture, they finally look into each other's eyes with affection, Sasuke finally accept your love, Naruto!

May I say that it was just too Shakespearean

I am still intrigued by the whole Tokyo Ghoul and I must say that I like the bleak ending very much, though people tend to think that it was incomplete (and from the commercial point of view, I think the author will definitely continue the story).

From the beginning, it already foretold that it was a tragedy but later when Kaneki grew strong, we all had a false hope that things would be changed, Kaneki would protect the weak, beat the evil and together with Kōtarō Amon, the young official of CCG (Commissioner of Counter Ghoul), human beings and ghouls may someday find a way to mutually exist in the world. But the world was simply wrong (that's the central theme of the story!!).  We conflict with each other for existence, no matter it was between ghoul and human, between ghouls or even just between human.  How we crave for existence and how miserable in such craving ("I must eat, to eat is to plunder, to protect, to lose, to make mistake").

I love the way it presents the story, which does not draw everything out, not depict the plot explicitly.   The work is quiet poetic - the constant counting of numbers (not just to remain awareness of the pain of existence, but also means the counting of the minutes/seconds of your life), the encounter of the good and the bad Kaneki (the realization of the futility of all your hard struggles) and the final vision of the smile of clown.

Oh yes, clowns.  The mocking of clowns.  I don't understand why the readers turned hating Uta at the end.  He may be unscrupulous but the tragedy of Kaneki is to a very large extend due to his own personality.  The extreme Type 2 Enneagram - to validate his own worth by the extreme self-sacrifice, just like what Toka said, it is a passive manipulation to others.  The unsympathetic words of Uta remind me of Macbeth's famous words:
"And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

Uta the unscrupulous/cool prankster (was he?Actually Kaneki would do what he did no matter what)

Love will indeed tear us apart, to eat your best friend.

To love is to put yourself into a vulnerable position, the collapse of Tsukiyama.

Counting of the final moment, delirious yet sober.

The mocking clown.

The Fragility of Openness

可能只有死忠粉絲才會繼續在意吟遊詩人的自溺夢囈，詩歌形式亦方便粉 絲們解構(誤讀)。Albion航道似乎並不明媚，詩人呈現的陰暗面, 近乎懺悔告解 (是真實的Confession of a Child of the Century), 很多很多的自殘、毒品、性愛旅程, what a life on Mars! 不長老的頑童繼續逃避俗務， 在新知舊雨新歡舊愛間捉迷藏，所有的人和事，如詩人所述說般, 只是其生命的一小段歌，不作停留不被捕獲，浪蕩者只會繼續追尋其Shangri-la / acardy。

正要為詩人過著火星人般的例牌 sex ? and rock n' roll 的 rockstar lifestyle 感到納悶時，最後部份的訪問喜見澄澈的Peter， 仍舊是我喜歡的靈魂。 

That killer sulky baby

First, the face (and essentially, the blush).


















Then, the isayama hairdo.


and yes, that is the "cold face, warm heart" heichou I love so much.


come walk with me sulky levi.

The Persistence of Memory

"The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting."

12th March

As usual, on this day I would like to say "Happy Birthday" to Peter Doherty.  I think I am still fond of him, though he is less prolific these days in terms of his music or literature, or maybe he is more private now.  He does not publish his every little work through internet like the old days.  He strikes me that he is more like a showman now, though I have no complaint about it.  I still love his performance and would like to attend his every show.

Happy Birthday little chubby.

But today I also got the sad news that Winifred Lai has passed away.  She was one of the most important local cultural figures to me.  I remember I was a loyal reader of her Amoeba Magazine when I was young. She did teach me a thing or two.  This year I am really sensing that my city is collapsing.   The things we're proud of, such as the rule of law, the freedom of expression, was destroyed in a large extent.  and now a member of the elite is gone.  

so today i am feeling ambivalent, blame it on the grey sky.  but i am still grateful for all those angels who have brightened up my tedious life.

There's a little piece of land I aspire

I was the yearning eyes in the shadow. I was the shadow. I hid in the dark, collecting pieces of your dreams. You were oblivious (because you are not of this world), chanting your spell (both you and the crowd indulged in madness), sometimes sad (but always playful). I was the outsider of your town, or of everywhere (maybe I am also not of this world). But I like to see you. You are that fading dream. Half forgotten. Still shimmer on the horizon. Maybe I am collecting ruins. Guffaw of the last decade. Time has left traces to you. But time has not changed you.


Mr. Doherty, looked happy.


Babyshambles @ O2 Academy, Birmingham 14.10.13

 
Babyshambles @ 02 Academy, Leicester 15.10.2013


Babyshambles @ The Junction, Cambridge 17.10.13

Romance at short notice

Literally back from the dead ("find what you love, and let it kills you").

But will they love you, the way, the way I loved you?

I intended to write immediate after the gig but I was too busy with everything, I now seem to be calm down a lot, but i will try to trace back my feeling (yes, I have reached the age of numbness, my feeling is the most precious thing that I do want to record it whenever I sense it).

Suede @ AsiaWorld Expo, 29.09.2013

I lost count of the times that I went to see Suede or Mr. Anderson.  I only know that whenever he made summons, I would attend without any consideration.  A ritual? A binding? I don't know.  It's the least I can do for someone I have liking for so many years.  Yes, I admit that now I don't have the full attention to him like what I did in the past.  I have many distractions, and routines sometimes wore my passions away.  So I just loyally attended the gig, without expectation that I would be surprised, a karaoke night as what had happened 2 years ago, though I also really longed to hear the band playing their new songs. 

I wrote this prologue that is because it was an unusual night.  Maybe the new album did inject a new energy to the band. Maybe we the fans suddenly remembered our long forgotten love.  It's like old lovers falling in love again. We sang out loud the old songs as well as the new songs.  The first song of night "Faultlines" already predicted it all, ".... Celebrate, there is no fear now, there is no fear now for us to feel."  And of course, we felt so young again.

How can I not utter any words of worship to Mr. Anderson?  He was extremely sexy that night, because it was his birthday?  I wore my erotic glasses the whole night, sorry.

The real prologue:
It was the first official autograph session of suede I attended.  I remember in the Coming Up era, there was also an autograph session in hmv but I didn't have the pass, I was always a failed stalker, always too slow or too shy to chase my idols.  This time if it was not ppp's reminder, I would have failed to attend it again (thank you ppp).  So, the first time was always nervous.  Even in such an old age.  I was always an uncool fan so I tried hard to play it cool.  Just a request for signature, with my trembling hands.   No photo taken with the band, no "physical attack" on Brett.  Very regretted in retrospect.

Confession d'un enfant fou

So where is the dreamy-eyed boy who sang the stories of sail and arcady?  "Bang bang I'm gone" but I still need your love.  Having told that the music of this album would not be written by Peter, I initially did not have high expectation for it but clearly I was wrong, the music of Mick and Drew sounds surprisingly good, authentically babyshambles.  The opening Fireman is already a punk anthem and I know this album cannot be wrong.  If there is a thing called "comfort food", well, this sound is surely my "comfort music".  The new pair works and you have found your new pair son, though I always though of the old person.   I twisted the meaning of your words to find the trace of the old pair, sorry, authors are always dead.

When asked to choose between this and that, I'll take the former every time.  I am talking about myself.  That's what I do.  Habit.  Addiction.  And "each man had his freedom and it was (not) ours to say, how to behave, oh who's to say".  Am I finding excuse for or being partial to the author? (of course I am) No, no, I only know it's about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (or simply makes you .... stranger like the joker said?!)  And I only know it would be great if I could find a big big joint and flow in the reggae dr. no.

It's worrying that you have mentioned that your were tied.  It's me who am always tied.  It's me who have already fallen from grace.  But you are my shambolic libertine, I will not allow you to surf the sorrow, drop your tears to the sea and sell your soul to destiny.

 Enough of my idiotic sound and fury, signifying nothing.  You warn that you will break the heart in two.  But I still cling to your sound, your ramblings, because the seeds are sown.  Sure, that is the sequel to the prequel.

Monster by Urasawa Naoki

OK, I was so late to get in touch with this comics.  And now I love it so much.  I think the following pictures may sum the story up.

 Some random thoughts (and the spoiler):


Fear can bring out the worst of us.  Everyone of us live a monster in ourselves, it's just if our monster will be awaken one day.   But we are free to choose if we let the monster sleep or wake it up.

Does anyone notice that Johan likes to raise his hand like the "monster" who took his sister (though he thought it was him) away?  Victim can become a perpetrator by imitation!

In order to deny the world, we either kill others or kill ourselves.

For me, the most heartbreaking moment is the last chapter (The Real Monster) which explains why Johan develops into a monster. Despair and loneliness of the abandoned.

The empty bed, Johan is dead? He was going to find his mother? He escaped again to do more evil deeds?  It's up to your interpretation.  Of course I personally want to believe that he walked out to find his mother, but we don't know.  Maybe it's like the Life of Pi, you choose the ending.  After all, it's the life that we make the choice.

Take your poet to work day

Do you know today is the "Take Your Poet To Work Day"? I just discovered it and indeed I always bring my poet to work, not just for today. Yes, we do need our poet to be our companion in the most uninspiring environment.

As I really feel uninspired and arid, I will still leave this garden for a while.

Hold on the light

Something we should hold on, to memorize and encounter, the cruel facts of history, to resist the overwhelming force of forgetfulness, hidden in their lies and sedation, our daily routines, numbness and arrogance.

他們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了我們
我們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了生活
他們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了我們
我們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了生活
他們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了我們
我們在這世界上面不停地奔跑，一不小心就改變了生活
又有誰就這樣的看著你，懷春的少女陷入哀傷
生命曾經閃耀思想的容光，我們不能失去信仰

Psalm from the Icelanders

Sigur Ros @ AsiaWorld Expo, Hong Kong 21 May 2013

I did not cry like what I did 7 years ago. Maybe I was less sentimental now, I did not feel their overwhelming melancholic beauty like the last time. Instead, I felt the autumnal rhapsody, the festive firework, the dark glow, almost a celebration in secret. From the cool oceanic swim to the fire from within, those were the Icelandic psalms that never failed to cleanse the soul.


I have to memorize the moments, the lights and the shadows, the universe that hides within.

broken phrases

I went to bed with a headache. The humid sultry summer night. Another sleepless night. My head was so stuffy that my mind was so empty. My mind was so awakened that my heart was so confused. Disturbed by vague plans, fragments of memories, noise in my head, semi-imagination, semi-nightmares. A sick stomach, a sick head, trapped in the darkness, trapped in the heat, trapped in a city.

Run with the boys

Carl Barat, Gary Powell, Anthony Rossomando and Callum Ryan @ Hang Out, Hong Kong 10.05.2013


indie boys strip club (again)

Our arcadian love and passion last year was strong enough to bring the boys back to the town. Not an impromptu gig anymore, most of us the die-hard fans got the early-bird tickets in March and since then we anticipated the excitement that they would give us one more time. Carl and the boys were as energetic as before, always tried to dedicate his whole heart and soul to the crowd. However, it was my heart that was missing. Maybe I was too tired for a Friday night, or maybe much of the excitement last year was due to the surprise and impromptuness of the gig that I had to follow the news on facebook all the time, but I knew to a very large extend was that my heart was still under the spellbound of Blur which has cast on me since Monday (6 May 2013) that I could not immediately shift my attention to another event and band. See, I was always unfair to Mr Barat whom I have much respect and liking. I still enjoyed the gig (so Mr Barat don't be mad). There were some surprises in the setlist such as Blood Thirsty Bastards and Horrorshow and I wish I could be more familiar with some of his new songs like War of the Roses and Victory Gin beforehand that I could be more responsive. Of course I still jumped and shouted like crazy for the libertines songs, there is something that I will never give up.


I forgot to bring camera (how could I!!!!) so I got to rely on my phone, all the photos seem a bit weird.

well, it really really really could happen

Oh this blog is turning to be my gig journal, seems like I will only update it after seeing a gig.

Blur @ AsiaWorld Expo, Hong Kong 6 May 2013

But I still can't find the right words to express my excitement, happiness and gratitude for Blur. Yes, I feel so grateful that they're back together again and more importantly, they came to my little melancholic hometown, a town that is full of frowns. Oh but today is different (maybe it's just for today). Even the long-disappearing sun turns up again, I feel so energetic, refreshing but also nostalgic. I miss that feeling, and know what exactly that feeling is. It was the time when I was still a student, time was abundant and passing very slow, when radio would play lovely britpop or grunge (or at least radio would play music, not talk-show) and when my hometown was still living under the union jack. Gibberish of an anglophile, sorry, but Blur is clearly the very quintessence of British band, and that is why they're lovely, you know what I mean.

The night was opened by Girls & Boys. The crowd was lifted instantly and you could tell that it must be an exciting night. Series of hits, of course. I lost my voice by screaming and singing all night long (how we like to sing along, although the words are wrong). Amongst the hyperness, I was struck by the sudden sadness of For Tomorrow and The Universal. (well, hyper and sad, if I was a bit bipolar?) The lyrics made me think of the powerlessness of my hometown and myself, some unlikely dreams, and how we lull ourselves. Well, but that night was my lucky night, sad no more, it's not "and it really, really, really could happen", it did really happen, Blur was in front of me! The finale, Song 2, my most favourite, was it too perfect to squeeze out my last drop of energy to jump and sing at the end?

Milkbox gift!