Thursday, September 13, 2012

Out of focus

I am not unhappy, but also not happy, maybe that is normal.

I am feeling very idle recently, or that is my constant feeling, maybe this idleness will be with me all through my life.  Of course sometimes I idled away my time happily, but now I feel kind of unproductive.  I know there is no rule that we have to be productive or purposeful, but I strongly feel that I am wasting my time.  I lack the spirit, strength and courage to quit it all and start again, or simply reality has taught me considerable lessons.

Frankly I have no complaint to the current state, I love steadiness and I become very money-minded (or in fact i always am).   Thinking if I have the amount of $$$, I can be ............... whatever I want.  That the thought I have had since I graduated but sadly it still remains a wishful thinking.

My friend disappeared for a few days.  I think I sort of understand his reason or feeling.  Of course if I decide to disappear, I will never leave any farewell note on facebook.


galaxy said...

play some hard rock song, turn up the stereo volume till you feel the bass hitting your body and scream.
You will feel better.
Hollywood , Salvation from The Cranberries

kittyshambles said...

thanks galaxy, I'm feeling alright, i don't feel bad, but just as the title said, out of focus.