Little adventure

I enjoy very much the aimless wandering in the vast garden/wasteland near my office, although there is fierce sunshine that probably no UV lotion can shield against it or wild grasses everywhere that arouse my paranoia of any mosquito, wasp or even snake hidden on the way.


of course the sea gives me much imagination and association, but it's a bit ironic that I live a monotonous robotic life in such scenic surroundings, which should be a place for vacation.


Oh, I still love this ironic place, see what I found today? A very big muchroom! I have never seen a living muchroom (not the ones in supermarket). There are several others scattering in the wasteland, they all look delicious! (and strangely enough this one has an aura, i get high by just looking at it!)

How the world keeps going nowhere

And this still life is all I ever do

From the moment I woke up, I kept reminding myself of the most important task of today. When the clock struck 10, I immediately logged on and clicked for a ticket. Almost an automation, yes, of course for the same group and the same person. It's not a question of devotion or dedication, it's a habit. Hey, it's Brett Anderson, no, it's Suede.

So when it was their UK reunion tour, I was surprised by myself that I only ordered for the Dog Man Star night. Maybe I didn't want to leave my mum (or bring my mum out) too many nights or, maybe my love for the band has died a little so I was not that enthusiastic ... but after the show, I'm sure it was the former reason as I still found my beloved band charming and enjoyable, but...

Actually I do not want to write any review for this Dog Man Star night, though I would rate it stunningly good (if not perfect). Anderson's voice was immaculate. Every track of Dog Man Star and b-side should be recognized as a classic so to hear it live was a celestial experience. It should be a perfect night, or I may say my recent uk trip should be perfect if my mum did not hurt her leg during the Suede night (it scared everyone! Lesson: don't bring any elderly to gig, even if she insisted). So I left before the end of the show - I feel so insufficient of suede now. And that explains why I have such urge to book their coming gig to Hong Kong.


At first felt so satisfied for the balcony's view


But later felt so dissatisfied for the distance from mr anderson


Brixton didn't leave me a good impression.

Moments

When the flight was accelerating and began to take off, I felt such acceleration was like a tearing force, torn my heart into pieces, torn me apart from that land, the land that I knew too well that I almost lost the tourist's enthusiasm but still I would not doubt my fondness for return one day.

She said the sky was beautiful, when I pushed her on a wheelchair passing through the long and silent corridor of departure. Yes indeed. I said "this is the London sky, please keep the scene in your mind." I felt a sudden strike of sadness after saying these words. She smiled and said I could return any day I wanted. Yes, I know.

In rainbows

Forever
that hide and seek
lost and found
I ask myself:
when will I give up?
The cherry blossoms
or sour whisky
My memory faded
or I just invented it
Ephemeral - ethereal
Fleeting - fleeing
yes, there's nothing to grasp
and my life is wasted away.






but chinaski said,
some lives were made to be
wasted.

Let me show you the world in my eyes

Just another game

Time killer

I know I'm not (and I won't be) good at parchment work as I lack the necessary patience and attention to details which is the a-must requirement. Euphemistically I call myself freestyler, haha, a pretext for clumsiness, and that's why I like decoupage and scrapbook much more. But having said that, I do want myself to be more skillful in parchment making, in the hope of training me more elegance, err... don't vomit.

He was there

Bob Dylan @ Kowloonbay International Trade and Exhibition Centre, Hong Kong 13.04.2011


Dylan and his shadow (this made me think of the split personalities/identities as suggested in I Am Not There)

First, I must admit that I am not very familiar with all Dylan's songs, so I attended the show merely from a pilgrim's perspective, thinking I should pay a visit to this legendary person, if chance arise. Of course what I got from the night was more than a pilgrim's experience. Bob still rocks with his band, especially the extended Highway 61 Revisited (oh but he didn't play Desolation Row while he played it the previous night!) Groovy and blue, men with office attire who flooded the venue already took off their suits and ties, intoxicated and danced crazily. Bob seemed quite enjoy the vibe and the scene and bestowed flashes of sneaky smile.

So, about that constant question for each show of this Asian tour - Will he? Will he not (play the Blowing in the Wind)? For a man who has such large repertoire, and for a song that has played over 40 years, I was not disappointed about the omission or thought that Dylan was self-censored. The closing tune Forever Young, "May you always know the truth, and see the lights surrounding you, may you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong" I would like to think that these are the words Dylan dedicated to us.

Because everything's in ruins

The Turin Horse

"Because everything's in ruins. Everything's been degraded, but I could say that they've ruined and degraded everything. Because this is not some kind of cataclysm, coming about with so-called, innocent human aide. On the contrary... It's about man's own judgement, his own judgement over his own self, which of course God has a hand in, or dare I say: takes part in. And whatever he takes part in is the most ghastly creation that you can imagine. Because, you see, the world has been debased. So it doesn't matter what I say because everything has been debased that they've acquired, and since they've acquired everything in a sneaky, underhand fight, they've debased everything. Because whatever they touch - and they touch everything - they've debased. This is the way it was until the final victory. Until the triumphant end. Acquire, debase. Debase, acquire. Or I can put it differently if you like: to touch, debase and thereby acquire, or touch, acquire and thereby debase. It's been going on like this for centuries. On, on and on. This and only this, sometimes gently, sometimes brutally, but it has been going on and on. Yet only in one way, like a rat attacks an ambush. Because for this perfect victory it was also essential that the other side... That is, everything that's excellent, great in some way and noble should not engage in any kind of fight. There shouldn't be any kind of struggle, just the sudden disappearance of one side, meaning the disappearance of the excellent, the great, the noble. So that by now these winning winners who attack from the ambush rule the earth, and there isn't a single tiny nook where one can hide something from them, because everything they can lay their hands on is theirs. Even things we think they can't reach - but they do reach - are also theirs. Because the sky is already theirs and all our dreams. Theirs is the moment, nature, infinite silence. Even immorality is theirs, you understand? Everything, everything is lost forever! And those many noble, great and excellent just stood there, if I can put it that way. They stopped at this point, and had to understand, and had to accept that there is neither god nor gods. And the excellent, the great and the noble had to understand and accept this right from the beginning. But of course they were quite incapable of understanding it. They believed it and accepted it but they didn't understand it. They just stood there, bewildered but not resigned, until something - that spark from the brain - finally enlightened them. And all at once they realized that there is neither god nor gods. All at once they saw that there is neither good nor bad. Then they saw and understood that if this was so, then they themselves do not exist either! You see, I reckon this may have been the moment when we can say that they were extinguished, they burnt out. Extinguished and burnt out like the fire left to smolder in the meadow. One was the constant loser, the other was the constant winner. Defeat, victory, defeat, victory and one day - here in the neighborhood - I had to realize and I did realize, that I was mistaken, I was truly mistaken when I thought that there has never been and could never be any kind of change here on earth. Because, believe me, I know now that this change has indeed taken place."

My Flash Delirium

MGMT live @ Kowloonbay International Trade & Exhibition Centre, Hong Kong 30.03.2011


Flash Delirium as the opener, how apt it was!!! I must admit that I'm still deliriously happy even it's nearly 1 week after. Since some time last year, I fell under the charm of this band so you may understand how I began my delirium when I heard that they would have a gig in my little hometown. And then, boom! Euphoria always flashed past unnoticed. Those ecstasy-filled songs such as Time To Pretend and Kids never failed to hypnotize the whole crowd into a state of bewitched rapture, we were all intoxicated by the beats and sound and oxymoronic to the lyrics, we did not have control anymore. But what i like most for the night was that they played nearly the whole Congratulations except the nightmarish Lady Dada. "When it's over, to breathe in everything exposed" what did it bring? A sweet trip. An escape. A lost. But did we find again? The last two songs were pretty autobiographical, The Handshake and Congratulations (and, I never thought The Handshake could be so psychedelic!). I was a bit lost. My trip ended, the show ended. The last two songs told me (and the band) what the reality was like. They seem to play well in this game of balancing reality and idealism (while i never know how to play this game) and I hope they will continue to manage well in this game (cos' they're called MGMT).



The visuals on the backdrop were so much like the visuals after consuming substance (hey, i was told about it)


my fellow sagittarian hid behind the amp


ok, i tried hard to control my idiotic fangirl gene

how my favourite person P thought about my favourite person R and his fandom

"Camus, Saw, Conquered

About your Manics article (NME, April 19). Mr Wells knows the Manics are middlebrow and they probably always have been. Kafka, Camus and Proust might sit snugly on shelves in assorted adolescent bedrooms around England, but if their owners were led to them by the inside of a CD cover, the true motivation stretches as far as the need to drop an esoteric title into a conversation in the common room.
The Marxists, Situationists, pseudo-bisexual-BAD POETS avec eyeliner, pseudo-leopardskin BAD POETS sans eyeliner, and the rest of the Cult Of Nothing should accept, for the last time, that with Richey went all feeble hopes of purity and guitars and profound graffiti.
Don't hold it against the lads - they want to do it. They are comfy. And they know that there is more chance of social equality through conformity that through locking yourself in a hotel bathroom and shitting in your purse. Besides which, the middlebrow ethos is far more revolutionary than the self-conscious political seriousness school of thought.
Peter Doherty, Somewhere Rather Lonely, 10 May 1997
P.S. That's the final word on the Manics. Forever. So all fanzines must stop. Let it be known."




I quoted that, it doesn't mean I agree to everything from my favourite person P. Yes, I finally found a disagreement with P. I put it down just as a record.

Poem generator

Charming nights
emptiness
useless summer
Lovers escape
using only thoughts
facing dreams
pains
Their very beauty made your words
sadness between idleness tenderness
Been lost
waiting
Finding
She kept Her Bits Old soul
named london
Still loving
All these feeling
(started manic laugh)
libertines, Those Always




Do I make sense here? Doesn't matter if it's yes or no cos' it's really good fun and inspiring. These are the broken phrases from my blog jammed out from the html5 word cloud.

alice no.2

Haven't picked up a carving knife for a long time, seems that my hands need to hibernate in winter. It's spring time now! It's time to practise again.




This is my alice no.2. She looks more normal than her ancestor, but got a big belly, haha, maybe she bears some features of her maker.

God bless

Shocked by the quake in Japan. It's like everything can be collapsed and destroyed just in a second. Every step could be indeed our last.

Oh no, you say you need a friend
but we can't live again
Monday morning comes too fast
You stumble down the diamond path
and every step could be your last
the sunken eyes you just can't see
remind me how you'll never leave
every breath could be your last.

wise up and take care, the one who's so clever, but not very wise

hope he hasn't got any trouble again, on the eve of his birthday.

It's always the song that I want to dedicate to the birthday boy.







(sorry for the awful fangirl fantasy, but some part of the lyrics does aptly describe my thought.)

find a place to hide

Boss out of office means all work is shifted to me. I'm damn busy right now, too busy that I want to click to my old blog and procrastinate a bit. No matter if i drown myself to work the whole office hours or even work overtime, I still can't finish the work, it's like a series of tsunami, so overwhelming and non-stop, nowhere to hide. I have to press the pause button, be lazy and unproductive (actually no matter i'm busy or not, i always pause this button).

To sum up my mood:





Homer is always one of my most favourite cartoon characters, yes, I always have a strange fondness for the misfits.



The Simpsons way of life

nice dream if the sky was darker, the crowd quiet(er)

Sleepwalking in the electric labyrinth
someone said the sea will ...
no, neither the sea nor the trees will electrocute us all
only our mind will.



Power Plant @ Kowloon Walled City Park


P.S. Oh it's been ages that I haven't set my foot in Kowloon City since I left my secondary school. It looks a bit old now, I couldn't find the records shop that I used to buy back load of good vinyls (wasted money, bought vinyls without a proper record player) and also the sanrio shop, but glad to see that Muslim Beef Bun shop (yummy) still survives, maybe it will go on forever.

Anglophile

You leave a taste
A bitter one
I have searched for your springs
But people, they stagnate with time
Like water, like air
To you
I cling.



- extracted from England - Polly Jean Harvey

Lost Time / The Sound of the Streets

My mp3 player just popped out The Sound of the Streets when I was reading the last page of In Search of Lost Time. How coincident. No, of course this song cannot summarise the whole epic, but I really thought of this song in some paragraphs, such as when the narrator lay in his bed and listened to the street noise outside his window.

"Inside she feels like winter
For the child that died within her
She walks the streets to pass the time

Sadie, Sadie hear the sound of the streets
Insane as anything"

"For the child that died within her" I don't think Brett meant it literally, not that Sadie had a miscarriage or abortion. I think he meant the lost time as a child that she couldn't find it again. Strange juxtaposition for this song and the last page of Time Regained.

Sometimes we can find the lost time again, if we drown deep enough in our sea of memory, but sometimes we just can't. The time had lost, the persons, the things, the passions had died. And remember the words from our dear Mr. Barat? Something like for a failed relationship, a part of yourself was died because all the things you had said, all the secret between the two lovers was lost forever. Actually I was quite surprised that he could utter something so Proust.

It took me quite some time to finish the whole series, I even doubted that if I could finish it before the end of my life, and thought if it would be too time-consuming if I had to re-read it again in my next life (if I could have one). These were my idle thoughts of course and now, even though I eventually finished it, I really want to re-read it again immediately. There were moments that I felt so heavy or intense that I had to close the book (excuse for the slowness?). I remember Proust once said that he did not expect praise or censure for his book, he just wanted his readers to feel "oh this is really like it" (ok, it's my interpretation), and I think he succeeded. I was always amazed by his clairvoyance.

Of course my life is not as epical as Proust's (or that of the narrator). During my time from reading Vol.1 to Vol.6, I had my joy and sufferings, I lost someone dear to me (but I did not know until I lost him). I will try to "recherché" those joyous moments, bury and banish the sufferings. I may find the lost person again in my memory, but may lose him again by my indifference and forgetfulness (and we say time is a healer).

useless but not hysteria

For an autistic person like me, every social interaction always results in awkwardness. A few days ago I just carelessly showed my "staff card holder" to my colleague while accessing the office, my colleague spontaneously threw me the questions of "What (the hell is that useless thing?)" and "Why (did you waste time to make it?)" and gave me a "wtf" facial expression. I could only smile embarrassingly and explained in a rather apologetic tone (without knowing why) that although it's cheap and also of a better quality to buy a proper "staff card holder" in the market, I was such an idle person and liked to make useless things, and also there's a hidden reason (cos' to spell it out would make me even more freakish) that I really like the patterns on the reverse side of envelops.


Is it really so strange? Of course it looks very plain, I could have decorated it more but I made it in a haste at night so I just folded the paper up, in fact I like it plain.


I also like to use the reversed envelop to be a book protector, given that I always read book at the pace of a turtle, my book will end in much wear and tear when I finish it.


Actually paper "staff card holder" may not be a good idea, with no lanyard and always wetted by splashing water, so i made a more proper one by adhersive tape and then pretend to be employed by hmv (oh my teenage dream).