Lost Time / The Sound of the Streets

My mp3 player just popped out The Sound of the Streets when I was reading the last page of In Search of Lost Time. How coincident. No, of course this song cannot summarise the whole epic, but I really thought of this song in some paragraphs, such as when the narrator lay in his bed and listened to the street noise outside his window.

"Inside she feels like winter
For the child that died within her
She walks the streets to pass the time

Sadie, Sadie hear the sound of the streets
Insane as anything"

"For the child that died within her" I don't think Brett meant it literally, not that Sadie had a miscarriage or abortion. I think he meant the lost time as a child that she couldn't find it again. Strange juxtaposition for this song and the last page of Time Regained.

Sometimes we can find the lost time again, if we drown deep enough in our sea of memory, but sometimes we just can't. The time had lost, the persons, the things, the passions had died. And remember the words from our dear Mr. Barat? Something like for a failed relationship, a part of yourself was died because all the things you had said, all the secret between the two lovers was lost forever. Actually I was quite surprised that he could utter something so Proust.

It took me quite some time to finish the whole series, I even doubted that if I could finish it before the end of my life, and thought if it would be too time-consuming if I had to re-read it again in my next life (if I could have one). These were my idle thoughts of course and now, even though I eventually finished it, I really want to re-read it again immediately. There were moments that I felt so heavy or intense that I had to close the book (excuse for the slowness?). I remember Proust once said that he did not expect praise or censure for his book, he just wanted his readers to feel "oh this is really like it" (ok, it's my interpretation), and I think he succeeded. I was always amazed by his clairvoyance.

Of course my life is not as epical as Proust's (or that of the narrator). During my time from reading Vol.1 to Vol.6, I had my joy and sufferings, I lost someone dear to me (but I did not know until I lost him). I will try to "recherché" those joyous moments, bury and banish the sufferings. I may find the lost person again in my memory, but may lose him again by my indifference and forgetfulness (and we say time is a healer).