How keen are we on survival?

"I have become so depressed by the fact of my mortality that I have decided to commit suicide." - 4.48 Psychosis, Sarah Kane



TR Warszawa’s production

Maybe it's because of my usual sobriety or my lack of imagination, Sarah Kane had never shocked me when I read her plays. But to see it performing on stage was a completely different matter. I was speechless after the show, for I could hardly distinguish if it was a play or a reality, if it's the words of Kane or it's also my own thoughts. To see the play was like an encounter to your own notion of self-destruction. Was it a life that I want to live? It's particularly painful to watch the main character chanted a series of general desires like "to achieve goal and ambition ... to overcome opposition ... to receive attention ...to belong ...to communicate .... to be loved, to be freed". They are so basic, but also so hard to obtain.


The production of TR Warszawa was definitely terrific:
- The sound effect (constant industrial humming, the dreamy and david-lynch-like "when i fall in love", both so illusory and disillusioned).
- The lighting (i especially like the last scene that the main character was gradually engulfed and eaten by the darkness, with a strange non-stop number-counting voice which only grew louder and louder).
- The scene settings (several scene that i love: "the meeting with a female lover" - I interpret that she was her ideal self, the one that she would never have; "the presence of a child" - the original self, or the childhood that lives within oneself, the one who was not aware that what oneself would become; "the naked old woman wandered around the stage" - the decaying self, what one would become if one continues to live)
- and the main actress (she must be very professional to perform it every night without breaking down).

You are innocent and true, and you come from a star ...

No man is an island (a bit strange for a solitary person like me to say these words). There are always someone, something that you feel emotionally attached to. 'You are tamed' according to Mr Fox.

You run the risk of a few tears if you allow yourself to be tamed.

Then I must be tamed by the book, for I can't quite control my lachrymal each time i read it (the abnormal thing is, my teardrop explosion can begin from the start, even the words "c'est un chapeau" can made me cry [so not to say the encounter with the fox or the love monologue to the rose], and i must have read it again and again for N times). When i first read it as a kid, i of course agreed to every words about the troublesome grown-ups, but with the passing of time, I now feel more resonant with the dilemma of the pilot. Grew up but not a grown-up, was forced to live among the grown-up and pretend to be one of them, but actually couldn't quite understand their language and vice-versa. That's why the pilot became a solitary person (and so am i). Don't get me wrong, i don't think it's a book promoting solitary, on the contrary, it's about establishing relationship. Be it with the people, flower, the fox you met or, the books you read, the music you hear, or even your heart, they are all so unique and important. Of course you risk tears if you let yourself be tamed. Passion and sentiment is always silly and immature in the grown-up world.

I love the story so much that no matter it's the book itself, the film or the musical, so long as it does not make any modification, i will love it dearly. so the musical le petit prince has no exception. The visual effect was quite impressive, and also the songs (esp the chinese subtitle, much better than the english one). The girl (oops i don't know her name) tried hard to be boyish, well, while i think her performance is quite good, still it will be much better if the role is performed by a real kid.


I hate to see how over-commercialised he becomes. It's cute to appear on the 50 francs in the past, but not every commodities you name it nowadays. "I love little prince" my friends said, grabing the watches and little notebook, "but i've never read the book". Phew.

Very entertaining indeed

The performance of Maywa Denki was better than my expectation. Actually I didn't know much about them, just my cousin kept telling me that she got some great seats with discounted price, ok, gave it a try. Just like what the supervisor(社長)said, Maywa Denki was a famous japanese brand like that of sony, panasonic and "micosoft". All their music was played by their electronic "products" which were very dangerous with 100 voltage of electricity. Of course that was only the gag. Nevermind if the music was good or not, it was very entertaining and funny. I felt like I have not had such belly laugh for a long time. I really appreciate the creativity as well as the business talent of Japanese. Very often, people are either creative but fail in the commercial world, or they earn a lot as the business genius but got no creative mind. Maywa Denki seems to manage both. I look at their little gadgets and toys, it's hard not to buy them (if I see them selling in the market).


Knock Man Family

This part was very funny (if you're a japanese animation fan like me):
1980's : 機動戰士
1990's : 新世紀福音戰士
2000's :



後記: owing to this Maywa Denki, met ppp again, nice meeting!!

You know, one day your dream will kill you

"Madame Bovary, c'est moi." Flaubert said so, and so did Mr Edward Lam. Et toi?

As a long-time admirer of Mr Lam (hope he doesn't mind this confession of love from an opposite sex), I don't know if I just blindly praise his every production or what. Both entertaining and thought-provocative, Madame Bovary Is Me(包法利夫人們) is still "very Edward Lam/not quite normal Edward Lam" (非常林奕華). I specially like the actors/actresses from Taiwan, they are very impressive.

The story was set in the 19th Century France, but strangely it can still apply to today society. Some may say a woman's life is no longer depending on her husband so this story is not relevant anymore. I do not agree - not only to the fact that many women (sadly) still think that the value of their lives are totally depending on their husbands (so finding a good husband is the ultimate life achievement), it's also because this story is not just a woman's story, it's a story for everyone (unless you don't ever have any dream or aspiration).

It is easy to be a moralist to blame Emma (Madame Bovary) for how she had destroyed herself and her family. Yes she was not a pleasant character but I think her demons were mainly due to reading too much literature and having too much romantic reveries. Entrapped in a mundane life, albeit comfortable, the dream-eyes girl spent her life to find the passions only glittering in her dream. She was trying hard, but all in vain. Don't we are all a bit like Emma in trying hard to break the shackles of banality and chasing the dream shimmering on the far horizon? The only difference is, Emma chose to end her life when life disappointed her, but we choose to submit to reality. Emma was an avoidant, loser, or the one who insisted her vision and finally killed by her dream? We are the conformists, survivors, or the ones who kill our dream?

Anyway, does everyone have dream? Or there are some lucky ones who reach their dream so not everyone is Madame Bovary? Or it's just the freak like me always believe there is some sublime beauty somewhere? But I sometimes think that there is no such thing as attainable dream, once you get it, it's not a dream anymore. The unfulfilled/unrealised nature of dream is what the beauty is.

Pissed off baby

Current mood (or I should say "constant mood") :



Always want to:



It was a nice surprise when I went to see Rent in HKAPA, I was told by my cousin that there was an exhibition of Yoshitmoto Nara in the hong kong arts centre. I love nara's little violent baby. She is so innocently evil, always pissed off, despise everything. She is like my subconscious ego, only I don't have the guts to show my real feeling and have to put on the bloody smiley face (so fake, little violent baby despises it!!! No, I don't want to .... This self-conversation turns me into nervous breakdown >_<) Talk about Rent, Karen Mok was surely a flaw, organiser should bring the whole new york team rather than let a HK star to ruin the production. "La vie boheme" Making something out of nothing The need to express To communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension (sadly this bunch of boheme either died of aids or no money to pay any rent, no no no, me as a (wanna be) beheme don't believe it)


The Pao Gallery