sentiment of one second

I was reading the news of Liu Xia while listening to Isaac Gracie's Running on Empty. Strange Juxtaposition. Almost cried in the train.



"This is not how we were meant to be,
I’m running on empty."

my ears of 2017

2017 was an unhappy year for me.  Still I found my support through music, though it does not offer much help, better than nothing.  I still make the conclusion of my annual albums chart for my own record, fear of dementia.

1. The Horrors - V  / TOY - Clear Shot

Clear Shot was a year 2016 album but I only got it at the beginning of 2017 and I got V at the end of 2017, yes, I'm perfectly out of time.  

2.  Ulrika Spacek - Modern English Decorations

3. 神聖かまってちゃん - 夕暮れの鳥

4. Depeche Mode - Where's the Revolution

5. Lost Horizons - Ojala

6. Arcade Fire - Everything Now

7. Alvvays - Antisocialites

8. Slowdive - Slowdive

9. 欅坂46 - 真っ白なものは汚したくなる

I still have no time to order or download Morrissey and the Pains of Pure at Heart though I think i will like their albums no matter what, maybe they will enter my chart of year 2018.  I like Graham Coxon's Falling and several songs of Willie J Healey, need time to explore.  Cover of Declan McKenna's album is awful (not awesome), though his songs are catchy, ...humm.. better not to touch it.  Peter Perret's Troika is really nice, will dig it more.

comfort music, in the despicable times

it reminds me of the sarah records, the sundays or even the smiths, sweet guitars voice, the good old days.

"your face was supposed to be hanging over me like a rosary", ...err, yeah, i have a thing about "rosary" and of course such wordings remind me of my mr idol.

Quasi una fantasia

I saw those
quivering wings of a butterfly
like your fingers
or
your trembling heart

Petals falling
the chronograph we hate

I faintly hear
you murmur
"I'm a rose blooming in the desert...."






#only_music_can_take_your_pain_away

i hope i can still feel the songs

Initially I wanted to write it down in my g+ but thought it was too difficult to type chinese (as i want to make my g+ more local and casual and not using english, my weird rule) so i write it down here, just for my own record, otherwise, my memory will slip away.

and i just discovered, i only have bought 11 albums last year, so these are really my top 10 of 2016 cause' i don't have other choice, my ears are closing, i know.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

No.1 goes to IDOL, no need for reason.  No.2 goes to the originally No.1 (but idol suddenly enters the scene at the end of year), TK's howls are a great comfort and healer to my mind.



Guilty pleasure (i.e. must hide it from my cultural friends) Not belong to the list but as the same time above the list, a great healer to the soul-less body after work:

They weren't meant for anyone but me

Lovers rise and fall and fall and rise again 

... and me just fall and fall and fall in love with this album, obviously I will blindly praise and love everything they do, so long as they are back together.  The sea was always rough, albion route was never a peaceful one.  While they are on board, i avariciously consume what they offer.   Have they lost their magic?  For me, the magic is always there.  I don't actually want to review or analyse this album cos' love needs no reason ("It means nothing at all, just for now we have all the time.") First time I heard Milkman's Horse, I was on the train (my usual music session), I was just "are you talking about me?" I need to hold back my tears and not to embarrass myself in the crowed compartment. For all those years running with the boys, the faces I met (and some go missing ...), the insanity committed, the bliss bestowed, sometimes poignant, sometimes elated,  and always, always the vision of that far beyond horizon, Arcadia? Shangri-la?  The Graceland and the Wasteland. These are indeed the impossible dreams they come for me. I, who caught the spell many years ago, still have nowhere on my way, still need to live in my mind and live in that dream.

Thinking back to the chicken shack

I hope I still have the heart for music but it is indeed I didn't go to gigs much recently.  Maybe I only saw three acts this year (!!! how desiccated I become!!!) but they were all fabulous.


Slowdive @ KITEC, Hong Kong 28.07.2014



Since neil halstead decided to grow his beard and called himself mojave 3, it's like he waved goodbye to his teenage years.  Slowdive became a vague reveries that you may sometimes recall it out of the blue, those dreamlike guitar sound, those long gone shoegazing years.  I never thought I could really see their live but yes, miracle happened.  It's great that neil put down his acoustic guitar, united with his old pals and relived his teenage years once in a while.   What impressed me most was that they were able to turn back the time to the 90's hands down.  Rachel was still charming with her angelic murmuring.  It was just like heaven to be drowned in their guitar sirens.  We were all stunned by the beauty of Golden Hair and chuffed to have the Dagger aimed at our heart again.


Spiritualized @ Rotunda 3, Hong Kong 11.08.2014



At first, I thought I could feel the psyche kicks again but, no no no.  We didn't have any psychedelic lighting or visual backdrop, no Electric Mainline, no effect of having substance.  Instead we had gospel choir and a very haggard Jason Pierce.  Having said that I didn't complain about the lack of any psychedelic element - all is because of the beautiful Always Forgetting With You.   I didn't expect to hear the rare track in The Space Project, but thanks to the tender Jason Pierce.  This bittersweet love song is always my soft spot.


The Libertines @ Alexandra Palace, London 26.09.2014
The Libertines @ Alexandra Palace, London 27.09.2014
The Libertines @ Alexandra Palace, London 28.09.2014



This picture makes me think of the words "dance like nobody's watching" (aka 旁若無人)

You know how devastated I was that I could not go to their Hyde Park reunion gig this summer. What?  I was given a second chance?  This time, the always out-of-luck fangirl did get her prayer answered!!!  (and here what the answer was:)
Yes, The Libertines announced to have London gigs in September and I had to go there no matter what.  After the short libertines film, the three magical nights began (and only the first night got the full version of the film, seems like an opening ceremony, I actually did not like the film playing at the gig, too polished and over-produced, libertines are meant to be raw and impromptu.)   We the old ship crews were glad with the songs in the first night, we had songs that thinking back to the chicken shack, with our secrets to keep us warm.  And we all grew sentimental in You're my Waterloo, that's the love song of Peter and Carlos, isn't it?  I think the boys themselves also got a bit emotional too.  The second night was the wildest.  Maybe it's Saturday and it was like the usual libertines gigs, I had to grasp for my place and my survival.  But maybe love among the band or us towards the band was too great, although the crowd was frenzied, they're also friendly, very paradoxical, right? it's like the libertines, they're pure and perverted, we the fans, violent and amicable.  Naughty Peter played a bit Bang Band You're Dead after Fuck Forever and it followed by What Became of the Likely Lads, ... humm..., what an arrangement.  The final night, my highlight was The Ballad of Grimaldi sung by Carl.  It was also a love song of Peter and Carlos (ok, that's the interpretation of me the abnormal fangirl).  it's about how a man kills the thing he loves.  they've killed each other before.  they're now given the second chance (an answer to fangirls' prayer again?)  I hope the story of the libertines will have a happy ending, for these three magical nights did end splendidly.  hopefully, the myth of albion goes on...

F yeah Hong Kong

The Flaming Lips @ Clockenflap 2014, Hong Kong.
Fuck yeah? No. We are feeling fucked.
This year part of my heart already flew to Admiralty so when Mr Wayne told us to have a smile when seeing their performance, I felt a bit guilty and shame.  When there were people fighting for our behalf, I was enjoying myself and singing
"Those evil-natured robots
They're programmed to destroy us
She's gotta be strong to fight them
So she's taking lots of vitamins
'Cause she knows that it'd be tragic
If those evil robots win
I know she can beat them"
There are indeed evil government machines out there, we all hide and shelter while look for others as Yoshimi.  The stage setting was like a fairyland or in a childish dream, with many psychedelic visions as backdrop.  The confetti rain did give me a moment of bliss.    The whole event was perfectly ended by Do You Realize and Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds.  What can I ask for?

Of course what I memorized most was My Little Airport.  Reflective, thought-provoking, french-speaking, kundera and godard quoting and (pretentiously) intellectual, that is the little airport that we love.  They are turning political, yes, and we just love them more.

My Little Airport @ Clockenflap 2014

This month's favourite

If everything is too depressing, at least I still have good music.

The Jacques - Weekends

Oh, this is the style I like.  

https://soundcloud.com/the-jacques/weekends-3

CC - Bo Ningen                            

I like it just because it has Jehnny Beth.

Tim Wheeler - Vigil

Tim has aged so much, I always thought he's still the cute guy from Ash.  I like the song and the music video, never saw such melancholic firework. 

 

There's a little piece of land I aspire

I was the yearning eyes in the shadow. I was the shadow. I hid in the dark, collecting pieces of your dreams. You were oblivious (because you are not of this world), chanting your spell (both you and the crowd indulged in madness), sometimes sad (but always playful). I was the outsider of your town, or of everywhere (maybe I am also not of this world). But I like to see you. You are that fading dream. Half forgotten. Still shimmer on the horizon. Maybe I am collecting ruins. Guffaw of the last decade. Time has left traces to you. But time has not changed you.


Mr. Doherty, looked happy.


Babyshambles @ O2 Academy, Birmingham 14.10.13

 
Babyshambles @ 02 Academy, Leicester 15.10.2013


Babyshambles @ The Junction, Cambridge 17.10.13

But will they love you, the way, the way I loved you?

I intended to write immediate after the gig but I was too busy with everything, I now seem to be calm down a lot, but i will try to trace back my feeling (yes, I have reached the age of numbness, my feeling is the most precious thing that I do want to record it whenever I sense it).

Suede @ AsiaWorld Expo, 29.09.2013

I lost count of the times that I went to see Suede or Mr. Anderson.  I only know that whenever he made summons, I would attend without any consideration.  A ritual? A binding? I don't know.  It's the least I can do for someone I have liking for so many years.  Yes, I admit that now I don't have the full attention to him like what I did in the past.  I have many distractions, and routines sometimes wore my passions away.  So I just loyally attended the gig, without expectation that I would be surprised, a karaoke night as what had happened 2 years ago, though I also really longed to hear the band playing their new songs. 

I wrote this prologue that is because it was an unusual night.  Maybe the new album did inject a new energy to the band. Maybe we the fans suddenly remembered our long forgotten love.  It's like old lovers falling in love again. We sang out loud the old songs as well as the new songs.  The first song of night "Faultlines" already predicted it all, ".... Celebrate, there is no fear now, there is no fear now for us to feel."  And of course, we felt so young again.

How can I not utter any words of worship to Mr. Anderson?  He was extremely sexy that night, because it was his birthday?  I wore my erotic glasses the whole night, sorry.

The real prologue:
It was the first official autograph session of suede I attended.  I remember in the Coming Up era, there was also an autograph session in hmv but I didn't have the pass, I was always a failed stalker, always too slow or too shy to chase my idols.  This time if it was not ppp's reminder, I would have failed to attend it again (thank you ppp).  So, the first time was always nervous.  Even in such an old age.  I was always an uncool fan so I tried hard to play it cool.  Just a request for signature, with my trembling hands.   No photo taken with the band, no "physical attack" on Brett.  Very regretted in retrospect.

Confession d'un enfant fou

So where is the dreamy-eyed boy who sang the stories of sail and arcady?  "Bang bang I'm gone" but I still need your love.  Having told that the music of this album would not be written by Peter, I initially did not have high expectation for it but clearly I was wrong, the music of Mick and Drew sounds surprisingly good, authentically babyshambles.  The opening Fireman is already a punk anthem and I know this album cannot be wrong.  If there is a thing called "comfort food", well, this sound is surely my "comfort music".  The new pair works and you have found your new pair son, though I always though of the old person.   I twisted the meaning of your words to find the trace of the old pair, sorry, authors are always dead.

When asked to choose between this and that, I'll take the former every time.  I am talking about myself.  That's what I do.  Habit.  Addiction.  And "each man had his freedom and it was (not) ours to say, how to behave, oh who's to say".  Am I finding excuse for or being partial to the author? (of course I am) No, no, I only know it's about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (or simply makes you .... stranger like the joker said?!)  And I only know it would be great if I could find a big big joint and flow in the reggae dr. no.

It's worrying that you have mentioned that your were tied.  It's me who am always tied.  It's me who have already fallen from grace.  But you are my shambolic libertine, I will not allow you to surf the sorrow, drop your tears to the sea and sell your soul to destiny.

 Enough of my idiotic sound and fury, signifying nothing.  You warn that you will break the heart in two.  But I still cling to your sound, your ramblings, because the seeds are sown.  Sure, that is the sequel to the prequel.

Psalm from the Icelanders

Sigur Ros @ AsiaWorld Expo, Hong Kong 21 May 2013

I did not cry like what I did 7 years ago. Maybe I was less sentimental now, I did not feel their overwhelming melancholic beauty like the last time. Instead, I felt the autumnal rhapsody, the festive firework, the dark glow, almost a celebration in secret. From the cool oceanic swim to the fire from within, those were the Icelandic psalms that never failed to cleanse the soul.


I have to memorize the moments, the lights and the shadows, the universe that hides within.

Run with the boys

Carl Barat, Gary Powell, Anthony Rossomando and Callum Ryan @ Hang Out, Hong Kong 10.05.2013


indie boys strip club (again)

Our arcadian love and passion last year was strong enough to bring the boys back to the town. Not an impromptu gig anymore, most of us the die-hard fans got the early-bird tickets in March and since then we anticipated the excitement that they would give us one more time. Carl and the boys were as energetic as before, always tried to dedicate his whole heart and soul to the crowd. However, it was my heart that was missing. Maybe I was too tired for a Friday night, or maybe much of the excitement last year was due to the surprise and impromptuness of the gig that I had to follow the news on facebook all the time, but I knew to a very large extend was that my heart was still under the spellbound of Blur which has cast on me since Monday (6 May 2013) that I could not immediately shift my attention to another event and band. See, I was always unfair to Mr Barat whom I have much respect and liking. I still enjoyed the gig (so Mr Barat don't be mad). There were some surprises in the setlist such as Blood Thirsty Bastards and Horrorshow and I wish I could be more familiar with some of his new songs like War of the Roses and Victory Gin beforehand that I could be more responsive. Of course I still jumped and shouted like crazy for the libertines songs, there is something that I will never give up.


I forgot to bring camera (how could I!!!!) so I got to rely on my phone, all the photos seem a bit weird.

well, it really really really could happen

Oh this blog is turning to be my gig journal, seems like I will only update it after seeing a gig.

Blur @ AsiaWorld Expo, Hong Kong 6 May 2013

But I still can't find the right words to express my excitement, happiness and gratitude for Blur. Yes, I feel so grateful that they're back together again and more importantly, they came to my little melancholic hometown, a town that is full of frowns. Oh but today is different (maybe it's just for today). Even the long-disappearing sun turns up again, I feel so energetic, refreshing but also nostalgic. I miss that feeling, and know what exactly that feeling is. It was the time when I was still a student, time was abundant and passing very slow, when radio would play lovely britpop or grunge (or at least radio would play music, not talk-show) and when my hometown was still living under the union jack. Gibberish of an anglophile, sorry, but Blur is clearly the very quintessence of British band, and that is why they're lovely, you know what I mean.

The night was opened by Girls & Boys. The crowd was lifted instantly and you could tell that it must be an exciting night. Series of hits, of course. I lost my voice by screaming and singing all night long (how we like to sing along, although the words are wrong). Amongst the hyperness, I was struck by the sudden sadness of For Tomorrow and The Universal. (well, hyper and sad, if I was a bit bipolar?) The lyrics made me think of the powerlessness of my hometown and myself, some unlikely dreams, and how we lull ourselves. Well, but that night was my lucky night, sad no more, it's not "and it really, really, really could happen", it did really happen, Blur was in front of me! The finale, Song 2, my most favourite, was it too perfect to squeeze out my last drop of energy to jump and sing at the end?

Milkbox gift!

You know I'll take just a little bit more

A very late record for my nth time visit to Taiwan in December last year.   Let me finish it on the first working day of the new year (so I can procrastinate again).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time I made a little breakthrough that my visit was no longer confined to Taipei. I stayed a few days in the Yilan County and it was quite an interesting experience. It's nice to ride through acres of rice fields, hearing old-fashioned local folk songs on the bus with DJs speaking their local dialect.  Actually I quite like their local folk songs, sound like the old style Japanese songs.


train going through acres of rice fields

I lived in Luodong town as I planned to "sweep through" its night market every night. I soon regretted my choice.  Obviously a porn business also operated within my hotel ....

Luodong town, with casinos and barber shops

National Center for Tradition Arts - It's a place specially designed for tourists (so it made me think of Ngong Ping 360 in my hometown) with shops selling traditional handicrafts or food.   Having said that, as I was indeed a tourist, I think it is still worth-visiting.

interesting shops for tourists

Plum Blossom Lake - I guess the name was due to the shape of the lake that it looks like a plum blossom.  I visited it on a rainy day (in fact, it's so rainy for my whole staying in Yilan), there were not many tourists and it made me the sour misanthrope very happy.  I like its transquillity, misty air and of course the cute bear bear cafe.   

atmospheric in the rain

Below is a beautiful red-bricked cafe in Yilan town opened by 黃春明老師.   I got this information from the shop manager and of course as a philistine, I did not know much about Mr. Wong so I kept a dump look and only took interest in the book 大便老師 on the bookshelf .  It was only when I went back to the hotel and did a google search that I realized Mr. Wong was the author of 看海的日子and 兒子的大玩偶.  Oh I've seen those movies!    What a uncultured person I am!  The deco, the menu and the food were said to be designed by Mr. Wong, and it is quite a comfortable place.

red-bricked cafe


Memorial Hall of Founding of Yilan Administration - beautiful Japanese architecture and garden.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As usual my purpose to go to Taiwan was to see a concert and that was no exception for my trip in the last December.  I think my longing to see a Spiritualized gig must be dated back to the time of Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space and I like their early stuff very much.  Jason Pierce didn't disappoint me.  That was exactly what I was looking for.  It was amazing how the music and the visuals together would transcend you to, well, yes, the space.  I had a few moments of doubt and reveries if I had taken something to feel the way I felt.  Of course that's only the magic of sounds and visions.



Spiritualized @ Neo Studio, Taipei, 9 December 2012

This year sums up

I always like to sum up my favourite albums at the year end but this year, I don't have many that I really love (maybe only the Toy one). It doesn't mean that I do not enjoy the music scene this year, on the contrary, I have some EPs and singles that I like very much.  Thanks to the smartphone, I also spent more time on radio, so maybe I should list out my favourite tracks instead.   Because, I know if I don't jot them down, I will probably forget some the names next year.

1. Husbands/I Am Here - Savages
2. 1998 - Peace
3. Stranger - Dead Mellotron
4. If Only We Remain - Two Wounded Birds
5. Dead & Gone - Toy
6. Aching Bone - Nadine Shah
7. Who Is The Hunter - Liars
8. Bubblegum Trash - Crocodiles
9. Sweet Jesus - White Manna
10. I Follow You - Melody's Echo Chamber

It's not over yet

Clockenflap @ West Kowloon Cultural District, 1-2 December 2012

For the wee bit chilly weather and the drizzling, puddles everywhere, I could imagine it was a music festival in UK, but hey it was held in my hometown, the place notorious for its hideous music scene. So let's say a big Thank You to Clockenflap, it did consistently accomplish some kind of mission impossible.

This year my festival began with Lucy Rose in Time Out Stage. Although I feel grateful for the organizer, here I must urge it to rearrange the location of different stages . The acoustic stage was too close to other stages that I could hardly hear any music from Lucy. I felt sorry for Lucy as it was so embarrassing and also unfair (while she also said she felt sorry for us the audience and invited us to her hotel rooms instead).

Lucy considered if she should continue or not because of the lousy sound system

My discontent was soon disappeared when it was time for Primal Scream, as I then became higher than the sun. Primal  Scream was in fact the reason I was there.  They nearly played whole of the Screamadelica (yeah! but without Higher Than the Sun, oh no! And not enough songs of Xtrmntr!!!!). Bobby was supercool, always love his tender voice and dream-like demeanour.

Bobby this charming man

On Day Two I only wanted to watch Alt-J and Klaxon but I arrived a bit earlier so I watched a bit Jun Kung. I don't know much about his music and this was the first time I saw his live. He seemed to be a good vibe-lifter, the crowd loved him and guys even waved roses to him (but he was scared and demanded a bottle of vodka instead).

Jun Kung

I don't know why there are so many Alt-J haters. Because of their arrogant comparison to Radiohead? No, I don't think it's the real reason. Actually I think their music is alright and they deserve to win the Mercury Music Prize. After seeing their live set, I think I know why. The vocal (very often the focal point of a band) Joe Newman looks so criminally normal, it's not the usual normal such as the "next-to-your-door guy" look,  it's the vulgarly mediocre, un-rock n' roll look.  

Alt-J, the office worker look

The last act was the Klaxon. I admit I was a big fan of their debut album. This was the second time I saw them, and like the first time in Reading, I expected I would enjoy their set and I was so willing to immerse myself to their music. But the fact was, I JUST COULDN'T.   For the Reading, I blamed that I stood too far away from the stage so I couldn't feel the vibe. But this time, I was standing in the front row, but people around me was just standing still, at the front row(!)  They seemed they didn't know their song while me like a mad woman singing aloud and jumping hard among them, humm, very exhausted but not high. The best part was the last song, It's Not Over Yet as it summed up my feeling for the Clockenflap. Yes, albeit my series of nagging, I still love Clockenflap and of course it's not over yet.  Next year, I will be back!

the girls standing behind me kept shouting sexy boys to the Klaxon, really?

where I can meet the past pay it off and keep it sweet

Isn't it just like the feeling 10 years ago?  The free impromptu gig, the crazy search for the news, the small venue, the singing crowd, the aftershow chase and meet-and-greet, like the storm sweeping through my small humdrum town, leaving bits of magical arcadian glitters.  Yes, I am under that spell again, like what I was 10 years ago.  I know it may wear out by my monotonous existence again, but at least in this moment I cherish and savour this delectable bliss.

It was a surprising news that Carl Barat, Gary Powell , Anthony Rossomando and Callum Ryan would come to my town for the grand opening of the flagship shop of Burberry on 1 November 2012.  The ecstatic news was then turned to a wave of whine from all ship members of Albion in my hometown as it was a private show only (from high to low).  But then we found out that the boys indeed listened to our words and our prayers were answered, they gave us a free gig (from low to high), though from the moment of saying farewell to the boys that my sadness began to breed (all the highs and the lows and the to's and the fro's, they left me dizzy).

The show was flawless, maybe Carl's stage charisma was much stronger in small venues so he was very delicious (?!) throughout the night.  Too many unforgettable moments, I could hardly take any pictures, not to say any videos cos' I wanted to savour every moment completely without disturbance. What a Waster marked the perfect finale (an ending fitting for the start).   Bang Bang and my heart was also feeling bang bang oh it's end.  Hearing the songs from the good ship albion, I thought, life was still good.




 The burberry shop grand open @ Pacific Place 01.11.2012- the unprivileged class watching tv outside

Carl Barat, Gary Powell , Anthony Rossomando and Callum Ryan @ Beating Heart Studio, 8/F Cheung Fat Building, Hill Road, Hong Kong on 02.11.2012

The Magical Night (hope the fellow ship members don't mind I disclose you)