find a place to hide

Boss out of office means all work is shifted to me. I'm damn busy right now, too busy that I want to click to my old blog and procrastinate a bit. No matter if i drown myself to work the whole office hours or even work overtime, I still can't finish the work, it's like a series of tsunami, so overwhelming and non-stop, nowhere to hide. I have to press the pause button, be lazy and unproductive (actually no matter i'm busy or not, i always pause this button).

To sum up my mood:





Homer is always one of my most favourite cartoon characters, yes, I always have a strange fondness for the misfits.



The Simpsons way of life

mirror mirror on the wall ...

passed by the park/zoo behind my office, i caught an uncanny reflection -

hey, is that me in the office?


trapped inside, bored to death

don't laugh, you look the same.



So I roar
and I groan
no one hear
and no one hurt

Busy without cause

Isn't that we call it 無事忙? My chinese is so bad that I may misunderstand the true meaning.

Busy for family issue, i'm not going to let all to see the wounds here but i do feel tired and sometimes disgusting, i want to disappear in somewhere unknown (but then i will be very irresponsible, u know, blood is fucking thicker than water so and so).

I was thinking about money recently. I am the person who is indifferent to it (am I being pretentious or ignorant to the fact) anyway that's what I think what I am but my stand was being challenged and ...

Yes, I am looking for a new job with better pay. Actually I do not know what is the standard "price" for a lawyer. "Your request is too low, you can request the double of your salary" haha, is it true or what? That's come from one of those big corporation... but i really do not like their attitude of "make your office as your battlefield everyday". used to be lazy and mediocre, I think I should be content with living in poverty while being lazy.

Routine work:
It's not a bad job(?), i think some people may even love my job, if you are a canton-pop lover. Licensee meeting, greetings and awards-giving, the chick of my department kept urging me to take photos of justin and leon koo, phew~ I'd rather shooting the cute birds.


Girl J(2)


Girl J(1)


Girl F


Band Z (let's clap for Vocals Chou for his having a red tonic, actually feel shit about it - no! I believe I'm the first to have it in Hong Kong, i've never wore it, now everyone have it, i know i'm idiotic to think this way)

賣笑大會

一年一度的賣笑大會又 - 開show!　對吾等年老版本隱蔽青年，社交應酬實在是一大苦差，回想去年初到貴境，對此等差事感到超及helpless, 今年本人也不見得有什麼改變／善，只希望擁有隱者隱身法。在大堂做迎賓還算不錯，起碼清楚知道自己要做什麼（帶嘉賓領取名牌）及可以和其他同事一起。之後的cocktail及dinner時間才是真正難頂記所在，要自己一個surrounded by groups of strangers,不要期望我會參與無聊不停地派name card的遊戲。因撞正大台台慶採排，本不期待有什麼好睇頭，哈有醫神又不錯，一向喜愛神神化化的他。對歌神之子本沒有什麼期望，但因當時太過沉悶，他（懶）rock的歌又幾好，更可能同坐的上等人掩耳狀甚痛苦，更令本人覺得愉快，希望歌神子整多幾吓distortion,哈哈。

不知不覺又悶完，又一年過去，不知未來我還會寫多少篇類似怨言文，我要催眠自己，I'm in it for the money, sucking corporate rock (but the sad fact is, the money is so little)

Etiquette and attire

improper and indecorous i am
fresh warning, constant warning
i finally learn that the proper business etiquette and attire
is to wear the funeral suit and countenance
my playful tone and childish steps
i blame it on the sagitarian sun and ascendant
they asked, why i smiled all the time
in fact i feel cold and ennui
wise girl once predicted i would be the first to kill myself
i did not contest
boss asked, if i was like this before
no, i think i was once sober and serious (though some may contest)
boss asked, where did my former self go
i don't know, maybe substance and Bacchus have their roles

Hong Kong Music Fair 21 - 23 March 2006

Splendid emptiness. Things were not that bad on the first day as most of the management staff as well as the small potatos like me of the organisers and exhibitors were present. After the photo-sessions, everything died down. So, was it an event for the industry only or for the general public? Actually I don't know. It might be opened to public but the only people walked around were mainly those from the exhibitors.

There was an exhibition of various memorabilia of the development of music industry in China and Hong Kong for the past 100 years (and that's the most interesting part of the whole event, but then again, the scale was too small).


L-O-V-E The Winners' costume



Inside the venue,I can't quite get the theme of the event. There were just a bundle of record labels listing out their "artists" (so what for?) and mobile operators showing their new handset models (no difference from any mobile outlets on the street). If I went to this event as a public member, I would not find it much interesting. However, it's a different story if you were looking for souvenirs. My favourite one is the Rolling Stones accessories and a CD of Sony/ATV publishing sampler. I really want to get the Bob Dylan and Boney M albums after listening, so maybe they succeeded in promoting their stuff.

Thanks to the marshmellow kisses which I listened the whole day long (me a very idle boothkeeper), my booth was to promote local independent musicians so there was seldom anyone dropped by :(


the marshmellow kisses restes avec moi

The channel launch party this morning

How I survive
with my awkward posture
and dangling mind
Sipping tea
sulky me
Business party
with plastic people (sadly I'm one of these)
Can anybody explain the meaning behind this?


Today morning I rushed to a party - yes a morning party, huh-ha
watching how people exchanged their name cards fanatically
and tried hard to cling to any conversation
(though they knew they hardly had anything to say)
This is something (they called it "social skill") I shall never know
To me, it is definitely a total waste of time.

Brainwash

I was forced to look at these pictures for a month already! OK, the girl looks alright but that's my notice board (and I don't like to look at the nostrils of anybody). It's so brainwashing! I want to pin up my own "collector items" but of course I can't. The tyrannous boss forces me to pin up whatever he likes (and his taste is horrible, these 2 pictures are sort of OK among his choice).

Yes Right Click is the campaign started by my company (doubt if any public ever take notice of it). It promotes the legal download of music, yeah, more right-click, more royalties to music composers and writers (how righteous I am, ha), more year-end bonus!

What the heck!

It's pathetic that my boss said my behaviour is like that of 臘筆小新 today, though I really like this cartoon character. It's strange, I never talk foul, never twist bum, of course have nothing to do with that little bb like 小新. Maybe that's becasue of my childish talk/thought. One thing for sure, I should never enter the field of legal robot, for being a legal robot, you are supposed to be professional, sophistiscated and confident (may I call it pretentious and bluffing). Somehow, I do enjoy the nature of work as I'm a drafting machine. But no, to be a successful legal robot, you are not necessarily good in language and analysis, but you have to good in presentation. Anyway, too much rolling n' rocking in my blood, I'm condemned to be 臘筆小新!

Today's special

Two writing in a day?! cos today is special. Today is the office gathering, i.e. dinner tonight together with mahjong playing and karaoke. I'm not keen on those two items, what shall I do? Can I just disappear without anyone's notice?
And today is appraisal day. Result: Pass

It is very boring indeed

As per the request from several "concerned parties", I now show you the pictures of my office, i.e. the confinement which I'm condemned to.


It looks messy, though not many documents, cos' I'm messy, shambolic, kittyshambles yeah!


Look, there is a newspaper hanging on the notice board by my boss before I came here (the date is 29 July 2005). The newspaper is already yellowed but I still haven't put it down, I'm just too lazy and do not have any attempt to try to decorate this cubicle. Let it yellow, even brown, and decay. In fact this notice board is good for pinning up some of my idols, but I don't want to bring any of my favourite items to office. They will be contaminated. No bearbrick. No Libertines. Don't make yourself at home in office. Don't grow your root in office. Office should be boring. You should just work work work (or dream, go internet, phone friends) in the office. Time's up, go!
By the way, I hate these big windows (no, they're not windows, they can't be opened, just the transparent squares) on the partition wall. All people can see if I fall asleep or go internet!!!


Boss' room (with big window) behind me. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING ME!!

I was robbed of liberty for 5 hours

So, it was not a century long, though it's still a bit long. I mean the cocktail + grand dinner I was made to attend compulsorily. At first I was worried if it would be another awful and embarrassing experience for me because I hardly know who I am. Sometimes I felt like socialize but many more times I was just a sulky social inept, oh my, it might just be another event to strengthen my sense of alienation. Thanks God I acted (or I think I acted) like a normal decent person, smiled and welcomed strangers. The socialize self was aptly present while much effort was made to suppress the autistic child within me and paralyse the bad kitty who asked for stout and joint everywhere. Good to see Eason Chan, best male singer in Hong Kong (and also nice to see Alan Tam, I liked him when I was much younger ^^).

Ranting, ramblings I

What is the point of online diary? Does anyone write the most secret personal stuff like the real diary? Or they just put some fake information? Pages of bluff or lies? Probably just pages of ramblings. An internal urge just to satisfy yourself and no one else. Like Haruki Murakami once said, writing is like sweeping away the snow accumulated outside your door - an internal urge, to clear the thought. No need for any readers.

I told the screen that I knew you're the computer so I could write whatever I wanted and told you the truth. Truth is sometimes hard to find, evaded, hidden, confused, contaminated by so many people, but I found out a fact - dug out the truth today, like shelock holmes. They try to shift the blame on kittyshambles (for she is the speechless, defenceless long-gone history). Being the constantly insecure and diffident nobody, she even doubt herself and thought if she ever committed such mistake like they said. No no no. 26 Aug is what I need to know. Kittyshambles no need to worry. She knows the picture now. Those fuckers ....

Blue Monday

How come I'm also on the list of the bloody training? Holy shit, it starts from 7:15 am!!! Totallyunfair! I always work overtime till 10:30 pm, how can I wake up like 6:00 am to attend?!!! I'm not part that fuxking organisation. I wonder I'm only there to fill up the blank. Nobody knows my name there!!!! I don't know anybody there, I'm a total stranger.

My nose feels like "jumping" in the whole day, like there's something wrong in my body, it's 9:05 pm now, everybody left the office except me, I don't know how to do my job and nobody can help me, I have no mood to turn on the stereo, I just want to scream bloody murder and say a big FUXK to all the relevant people. I have every right to have my Tourette's Syndrome.

I want to die ah!

Work sucks!!!! I stayed in the office till 10:30 p.m. last night but still I couldn't finish my work. Legal division has only me to deal with the whole group and this firm has numerous disputes and litigations and agreements! Many lame people here, waiting for you to approve everything, to discuss every triviality through meeting (a total waste of time) or even ask you to make the enquiry to someone else for them (why don't they ask that particular person directly?), not that they're so idiotic that they can't do it themselves, but they want to pull you into the net and share the liability if the things don't work out. The big boss is very fastidious and perfectionist, you know I can't blame her as it's her virtue but I'm such a clumsy and careless person, my work never satisfy her!!!!

No fun in life
I want to die
or I want to cry
Give me crack or white line >_<

I feel having Tourette

I feel so fxxcking suffocated and suicidal in the office, my life is meaningless and pathetic!!! others - useless, idiotic.

Surf to the 10dp forum and someone recommend the following website. It's amazing :
http://www.sloganizer.net/en/

Type your name, it will make your name a slogan, such as "Kitty Forever" but "sloganisation" of my name is not what I think it's brilliant, try to type the rude words (I've typed "suicide", "sex", "fuck", "crack" haha, very funny result), it's absolute hilarious!!!