Just to say Hi

I was told that my account would be deleted if I didn't login the account. So I am here, just to preserve the wasteland, the memories.

A Tale of Two Cities

如燭光都有罪 將暗黑多幾十年

如傷疤都有靈 未變臉 回憶即使有罪 真相怎麼敢無言 歷史假使有人 定被發現

oh yes, godsend

 

This is what I found in today Facebook feed, what a coincidence! Thank you my dear idol, when will we meet again?

Lost the function of laughing 3 years ago, time may be a healer, but the war last year made it harder to heal, I contain myself nicely, for everyone hurts, be kind but also be angry, I don't know if there will be light at the end of tunnel, need to myself, hang in there.

Stars may fade as darkness fills the air

“我不相信夢是假的，
我不相信死無報應。”

in name of love

僕らだけの名前を呼びあって
僕らだけの喜び　分かち合った
僕らだけの言葉で確かめて
僕らだけの痛みを抱きしめた

この世界のどこか　未来で会えるなら
忘れないでいて　僕のこと　本当のこと

We're on the road to nowhere

一邊斷捨離，一邊失控購買回憶，想點？

April is the cruelest month

Reading today news, I couldn't help thinking of this poem.  Isn't it obvious that my hometown a wasteland now? we all drowned with the city, rapidly, without mercy.

"April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain."

344th of January (google told me)

I just found out that today my Google homepage looks like this :



isn't it  sweet? For an old and lonely person like me, this is really a sweet surprise, but this so-called comfort of stranger is actually not even from a stranger, it's not from a person, just your own personal data got handled by a big corporation / system, or I should better think about how they obtain my information, and how they will manage it.  I sound so boring, ruined the little heart-felt tenderness offered to me, I admit I got haunted by my work that my brain is full of rules and regulations and no verse and prose allowed.

Today I actually intended to take some pictures during my busy lunch hour, to produce some memories for today, but all I found in my usual wandering path - bleak, withered, grotesque images, not that great for today memories, (or such realism that I don't need, I got too much).

"last year is dead, they seem to say
begin afresh, afresh, afresh."

they look like me, strange, just hang on to yourself.

sentiment of one second

I was reading the news of Liu Xia while listening to Isaac Gracie's Running on Empty. Strange Juxtaposition. Almost cried in the train.



"This is not how we were meant to be,
I’m running on empty."

周末看書

像是後殖民誌的後記，看後若有所失，若有所得。羔羊。自由。沉靜。

my ears of 2017

2017 was an unhappy year for me.  Still I found my support through music, though it does not offer much help, better than nothing.  I still make the conclusion of my annual albums chart for my own record, fear of dementia.

1. The Horrors - V  / TOY - Clear Shot

Clear Shot was a year 2016 album but I only got it at the beginning of 2017 and I got V at the end of 2017, yes, I'm perfectly out of time.  

2.  Ulrika Spacek - Modern English Decorations

3. 神聖かまってちゃん - 夕暮れの鳥

4. Depeche Mode - Where's the Revolution

5. Lost Horizons - Ojala

6. Arcade Fire - Everything Now

7. Alvvays - Antisocialites

8. Slowdive - Slowdive

9. 欅坂46 - 真っ白なものは汚したくなる

I still have no time to order or download Morrissey and the Pains of Pure at Heart though I think i will like their albums no matter what, maybe they will enter my chart of year 2018.  I like Graham Coxon's Falling and several songs of Willie J Healey, need time to explore.  Cover of Declan McKenna's album is awful (not awesome), though his songs are catchy, ...humm.. better not to touch it.  Peter Perret's Troika is really nice, will dig it more.

My goodbye lives in me

Thank you for being my companion for so many years.  I know I will see traces of you wherever I go for the years to come.  You parted me but actually you will never be parted, 'cos you are part of me and, at the same time, part of me is parted.

Going backwards

"You've been pissed on
For too long
Your rights abused
Your views refused
They manipulate and threaten
With terror as a weapon
Scare you till you're stupefied
Wear you down until you're on their side" 

The latest DM album reminds me a lot of my little hometown. Three years ago, I was stuck in UK watching the news about crack down in my hometown, everything seemed so threatening, but yet there's a glimpse of hope. Today, we see no hope.

comfort music, in the despicable times

it reminds me of the sarah records, the sundays or even the smiths, sweet guitars voice, the good old days.

"your face was supposed to be hanging over me like a rosary", ...err, yeah, i have a thing about "rosary" and of course such wordings remind me of my mr idol.

idle work is good for your health

When life turns sour, find sweetness in triviality.

The beautiful losers

 

Crushed flowers, crushed dreams, crushed ideals.  That is what Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-blooded Orphans all about.  Japanese always like this kind of 敗者の美学.

Sad story.  It  somehow tells the truth and reality.  From my first witness to the civil uprising in Beijing in 1989, for all those revolutions over the world, some were successful, mostly a failed attempt, many more were just a replacement of new dictatorship. Villains always win.  History tells that the little oppressed ones just keep your head down, don't fight the authority, don't question the convention.  But the little oppressed ones will still rise up, quashed, and rise. 

Quasi una fantasia

I saw those
quivering wings of a butterfly
like your fingers
or
your trembling heart

Petals falling
the chronograph we hate

I faintly hear
you murmur
"I'm a rose blooming in the desert...."






#only_music_can_take_your_pain_away

i hope i can still feel the songs

Initially I wanted to write it down in my g+ but thought it was too difficult to type chinese (as i want to make my g+ more local and casual and not using english, my weird rule) so i write it down here, just for my own record, otherwise, my memory will slip away.

and i just discovered, i only have bought 11 albums last year, so these are really my top 10 of 2016 cause' i don't have other choice, my ears are closing, i know.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

No.1 goes to IDOL, no need for reason.  No.2 goes to the originally No.1 (but idol suddenly enters the scene at the end of year), TK's howls are a great comfort and healer to my mind.



Guilty pleasure (i.e. must hide it from my cultural friends) Not belong to the list but as the same time above the list, a great healer to the soul-less body after work:

The rambling otaku

"There is a life and there is a death, and there are beauty and melancholy between."

- Albert Camus

"How can you choose between death and glory?
Happy endings, no, they never bored me.
Happy endings, they still don't bore me,
But they, they have a way
They have a way to make you pay
And to make you toe the line"

- Peter Doherty

... humm, yes, i love sad story, sad characters.  

Why?

Why Isayama Hajime must tear the lovers apart? :'(

For an enthusiastic eruri supporter like me, i feel a sudden disruption to my joy of imagination.

and, if Heichou turns himself to a Kyojin, he will no longer be the strongest "humanity" in the world, no no no, i can't accept this.  but if he doesn't turn himself to be a Kyojin, he seems he can't even survive, no no no!!!!

and, if Heichou really becomes a Kyojin, the manga will then match with the movie version,  hummm.. then heichou will become bad and be defeated by Eren?  NO NO NO!!!

Why Sui Ishida again and again torture the tender Ken Kaneki?  How many metamorphosis will he have to take?  Destroyed and rebuilt, then looks for death as the final solution to all problems, Kaneki runs in circle.

and, Tokyo Ghoul + Tokyo Ghoul re: = manga enunciation of kafka.