Is it this?

We reach this point again (hooray, still alive). It's the end of the year, time to reflect.

I didn't expect my work life would be busy and stressful, for leading a laid-back life is always my ultimate goal. I hope I will make fewer mistakes in my work (or no mistake? Is it possible?). I'm still convinced that I should not study laws (aiya, such wrong step from the very beginning). I am just not that kind of people, those professional, meticulous and ambitious people. But it's too late to say anything or to regret, I know I have to continue. I think I've grown up a bit now, at least I will not escape (oh, or I can't escape).

So much leisure or creative plans have been delayed or disappeared. Routines fill up my life. I don't even have time or the mind to post new entry on this blog, and that glimpse of inspiration or the impulse to write dies down very quickly if you don't grasp it in time. e.g. Initially I wanted to write something about Clockenflag, as I was very high and happy in this event, but later (i.e. now) I just don't feel like writing anything about it. The intriguing fact is, I do not feel bad about it. Sound dangerous, huh, I officially enter the mature adult world. haha, but I still spend time to write up this post, so I may still have some residue of my former self, the one who likes to waste time and idle away.

Before I head back to work, I will like to sum up my yearly favourite music in the following order:


There is a missing piece, good to be incomplete and unfulfilled.

December songs

I can't stand the lyrics, too revealing, too biographical :



This one is also talking about me :



I forgot how I got to know Boo Radleys and fell in love with their music, given that I was (am) such a person who only love the bands with a look. They didn't have the cool image like other britpop bands in the 90's but I did (do) really love them. They always sounds so melancholic, even for those catchy ones. I was very young and should be like that of the old Chinese saying, "for the sake of writing verse, I force myself to be sad" (and "now I know the taste of bitterness but I can only say 'what a nice Autumn'). Yes, I should not have much sadness at that time but I felt that I understood the songs. What a laugh. Now it's getting colder, my hands chilled to the bone, as I listened to the same songs, I can only say, "don't listen to the lyrics, don't make me realize how they become my songs".

December is my month so this is also my song:

60's is such an interesting era, haha. There are other zodiac songs sung by Cosmic Sounds. Let's find out yourself in youtube and see if their psychedelic zodiac prediction matches you. Mine is, err... more like the ideal me (phew).

There is a bluebird in my heart

My recent favourite moments - riding on bus after work and listening to Crazy Clown Time of David Lynch. Everything was dark, with tints of misty yellow under the line of street lamps, the same old wasteland, the same old slow crawling bus and the same old me, feeling dejected, tired or just numb, that's my constant/default mode, sadly no other option. But it is this totally uninspiring state of being fits so much to the album. I think I must have listened to it more than 50 times just over a week. Sounds very addictive, yes, it really is.

Crazy Clown Time was not rated high in many album reviews. The critics said it was repetitive, robotic, and the voice of Mr Lynch was ...err, strange. But maybe I'm such a fan of Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. I think this album is the audio version of his films, completely enthralling. Some electro-pop songs are so upbeat that it is very hard to believe the songs were written and sung by an old man, some are so dreamy and trippy. They are all dark and cinematic, my brain was just full of vivid images for every song. If David Lynch is not a film director, will he be a psychologist? For those repetitive and fragmented lyrics, I will call them the soliloquies in dreams, something from the subconscious. They are nightmarish, wicked, evil, sometimes absurd, sometimes sublime.

At this moment my most favourite track is "These are my friend" as it always reminds me of Bukowski's Bluebird. I know they are unrelated to each other, but I made the association anyway. Lynch and Bukowski are both good at writing about the lonesome social misfits, those who keep the bluebird in heart and weep at night, (oh, but i don't weep, do you?) trying hard to find the prescription for our problems (by real or imaginary friends?)




David Lynch - Crazy Clown Time (I don't know why, though I like this album, I have a nauseating feeling for the cover)