Conversation with devil

Of course I recognised you.

I know your fierceness, anger, violence and, your tenderness, you were once an angel, of course it's no difficult for you to speak the gentle words and hum a sweet rhyme. You never fail to tempt me, sometimes I begged you to stop, for I was and will never as strong and intelligent as you, so let me be the meek and the humble, the innocence and the ignorance. You smiled and said what a hypocrite I was, as in fact it was me who asked you to stop me if I tried to stop you. You laughed at my quest for wisdom, saying that's the origin of sin, for human brain was too defective to think and understand. "Stop!" I begged again. A sense of fear struck into me suddenly, but what was I frightened for? Your evil, clairvoyance or, simply my own weaknesses? "mogwai fear satan" you sneered. I know you like riddles. When you said "happy songs for happy people", did you actually refer to your sad songs for sad people? But I couldn't really fathom that you refer me to one of your titles. You laughed, stating in a matter-of-fact tone that human beings got all the traits of devil except their retarded intelligence. "That is old cliche" I yawned, "yes, we can be cruel, jealous and greedy", that's so trite, you might not be as clever as you claimed. You didn't respond to my mockery, instead, you asked me out for a walk together. We went to a precipice, far above the banal world the cold wind cut me like a razorblade. Under the starry sky, you sang me those celestial songs, echoing the stories before your fall. Suddenly you grabbed my hand and plunged, I was dazzled by the strange rays of light - red, green and white, maddened by the howling of thousands faceless souls, scorched by the inferno fire, I was overwhelmed and possessed, strangled and suffocated, was it a punishment for my rude remark? "No" you said. Everything stopped, at once. You're gone. I returned back to my room. I now understand in addition to cruelty, jealousy and greed, I'm so ambiguous, hesitated, indifferent and numb, breathing but not living, this is so evil like a crime, you pushed me to the extremity, torn me apart, killed but also awaken my senses, meanwhile, I lost my peace of mind.

You are so fierce, angry, violent and tender. Of course I recognise you. I know you are but what am I?


Mogwai @ HITEC, Hong Kong 18.01.09
This is not a video clip actually, cos' i was behind a bunch of westerners, everything is shaky and out fo. this is a audio clip. Personally, it should be "sad songs, stay til the end. Old songs remind me of friends".

the end of the affair

the end of the affair
I really couldn't believe the news. This is the first venue which i came to know, for a long time melody maker/nme reader, i read about its name long before i really got a chance to step inside it.

My most unforgetable memories of it :


farewell to suede
(the tickets must have been overbooked, there were actually too many people, i could see - nothing, but of course that was a great night, a sad night, a celebration night for a great band (which not many people agree), for what they have achieved, for the people there - who claimed themselve as "suede people", those self-centered, self-indulgent but as the same time glamourous people (oh but i'm not saying i am))


farewell to Gemma Clarke
that's the notorious riotous night, the christmas party summoned by babyshambles, the ruined party, i felt bad for gemma (for her drumsets were literally decomposing) and i felt bad for myself (for i went there at 7 to queue and stayed until 2 am without any food and going toilet, tolerating to watch tower of london and forsaking moz for petah) The picture above of course is not the cute gemma, it's "scarborough" steve, one of the guests of that christmas party, the one that only those two boys in the band would think he's cool

i am a dog walking backwards

this is a new year, a new start for me, a new start for you.

actually i don't have any idea for my future or which direction should i turn (directionless so plain to see, a loaded gun won't set you free...) oh, touch wood, yes, this is new year, any negative thought is not allowed. i remember someone who is so clever but not very wise once said that he did not get on with the future, so they just ignored each other. only up till now i understand his words, so he's indeed clever and wise.


before turning a new page in 2009, let me be a dog walking backwards for a few steps and express my deep gratitude for anyone who had showed kindness to me in taipei, singe initially the riddle but then the cute sweetie, ah nan and other suede persons at simple life who took care of me in the absolute choas (well, the choas was not because of brett anderson, it's for the act (soda6) afterwards), and of course (let's clap) the language-master (and multi-functional) ppp who gave me so much which i can hardly articulate, warmed the cold, brightened the grey, spent time with a lonely soul to wander aimlessly or purposefully, enroute or by mistake.


brett anderson, who got the blame and criticism (again) for singing the good old suede, if people who thought brett was just a fallen idol, why did they care to see? You don't need a reason to hate or love someone. i myself think brett was still brilliant, no matter when he sang his solo songs or those suede ones.


jarvis cocker, with english accent and, english humour, still the charming darling, a valentine kept receiving bunches of roses from the crowd, still danced with his unique poses, played dead or watered the roses on stage, his every note and every move was just right, thought the last song (space oddity) which was collaborated with miss yang was a bit weird.