monday or tuesday

Lazy and indifferent, I went to office as usual, reading woolf online, as usual. so silent that i could only hear my own thought, if i was not too drowsy and transcending to other space. What did I come in here for? What did I want to find? My hands were empty. no more gibberish, no one wants poetry.

i like storm. crazy downpour and strong gust of wind, nature's periodic mischief, reminder of man as insect (insignificant, inept, useless and sometimes disgusting), but the time before storm is real horrendous, as if there is no more oxygen left in this planet, i can't breathe, i melt.

prayer for the rain, prayer for the storm, prayer for an extra morning to sleep late.(news that signal 8 will be hoisted at about 6:00pm, too soon too fast, so what will be tomorrow morning?)

Lazy and indifferent, actually i've got work to do, but it's just too boring so i opt to type all these meaningless words in blog. butterfly effect from lehman bros financial crisis? probably not, this office has its internal ulcer long before, but of course the situation is now "frost on the ice". there is/was earthquake in my office, this time i whine for the job, next time will i whine for not having job... too horrible to think about, for the one who needs money badly.

I always think i should be shinji in neon genesis evangelion (i like/hate him cos he is so similar to me, the useless whiner and coward) but the test said i am rei (i also don't like her, she is a "natural-born" masochist) so i do it again, just change one answer (actually i'm not sure about the answer) and the result is pen-pen, great, i love that drunk penguin.





What Neon Genesis Evangelion character are you?

let's put our futures behind us

"他們一起生活，共同創作，穿彼此的衣服，分享一切，包括死亡。"

so their story does not turn out to be like this, which we should be glad, though I thought it probably would be that way if they continue to live together, it's always dangerous to be too obsessive and intense.


"Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows, if it's night or day"

and by the way, i am just reading the biography of joe orton, and maybe my soul has slided away a bit, 'cause I have put my life in the hands of a dear rock n' roll band.

大隱隱於市

When did brett anderson become a laughing stock in the eyes of nme and its followers? I wonder if they have really paid any attention to his work. Without listening, verdict was already given that brett was no longer relevant or what they so-called "cool". For those who don't (or don't want to) understand this man but keep criticising him please just f--k off.

But I don't know if I understand this man either, though I'm still fond of him. If the first solo album was brett's declaration of his weariness of the music industry, the second one was surely a further step away from the usual game, yes, a step into the wilderness. Just a cello, a piano, guitars and human voices, sheer minimalism and DIY, simple but beautiful. Brett still drowned in his own little bleak world, sometimes blessed in the motherly tenderness, but mostly feeling hurt, by the shattered relationship, lovers of malicious exchange (Clowns), lingered as stale stagnation (Chinese Whispers) and eventually turned to long-lost perfect strangers (Knife Edge), for brett there was no future in love. It's personal but not necessarily trivial. People cringed at the lyrics like "war machines rust eternally" or "clowns tumbling into town", which I think they were beautiful imagery. It's the same old self-indulgent brett anderson, using his sci-fi words for his loveless love songs. My favourite song of the album remains to be "Back to You", the solo version was issued in the ep last year (remember that sad cartoon mv?) and i have the pleasure to hear it performed in the hong kong gig last year. Here the song was duet with Emmanuelle Seigner, a calm and estranged vocal, perfectly matched with the grey sky of brett.

The aged diva finally stepped down the stage and wiped away the last trace of her make-up. oh, the diva is in fact a man, witthered and wrinkled. Farewell to the psycho for sex and glue, now brett is a lonely man alone in his back garden, blessed in the void of London's wilderness, edifies to a different place, or wanders to Serpentine, musing on eternity expressed with every word, every breath. yes, may i call brett a dharma bum?


Brett Anderson - Wilderness
(i really love all those lonely photos of this album)